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Friday, November 7, 2008

Children are like Play doh




Kids are like play doh.

Do you remember play doh and how exciting it was to get new play doh?

When I was young there were only like 4 colors...red, white, blue and yellow i think...

Then... there were more...more colors, every color, even pink....

Play doh is fun when its new and has so many possibilities. All the colors and the smell...oh the smell of new play doh.

You hold it in your hands and you can make it into anything you want...just like your kids...they are born... pure and soft and moldable...and you dream of all the things it can be...and the play doh is so beautiful...when you first get it...and you take such care to keep it in its original container...so it doesnt go bad...you lock it up tight every night in its container...and you keep it away from all the evils that can hurt your play doh...

As time goes by...you let your friends or your family play with your play doh and they mix the colors. sometimes the play doh is still ok...the pink and turquoise are still nice together... but sometimes you mix in too many things and you cant see your pretty pink play doh anymore....the other kids have infected it with their yellow and purple and orange....and it is a big giant mess...and you wish you would have home schooled them...your kids, not the play doh...

are you getting my symbolism here???

Cause I could have gone with kids are like Etch a Sketch...


So then the play doh is not as fun...and you try to fix it...but then you turn your back for one second and the cap isnt on tight enough.... and your beautiful play doh...gets hard...you cant mold it anymore...you try to break off the hard parts but little pieces of it keep getting in and ruining your creations....you try everything... you add water...you hold it tightly in the palm of your hands... you let it go for a little while...and eventually you add new play doh to it...



But it never works because your play doh is not the same. It starts to resemble silly putty now...it lives in an egg and it takes on the reflection of whatever it hangs out with and it snaps when you try to hold it back. It melts and it is not long before you just have to let it go and let it be...

It happens no matter how hard you try to take care of your play doh, lets face it, how long does play doh last anyway? you want it to last forever but before you know it, its gone. And you can keep getting new play doh, but it gets expensive and one day you wake up and there is no more play doh. and no more silly putty...

And you wonder how it could be possible that you had the chance to make the play doh and silly putty into anything you wanted but somehow it took on a life of its own. The colors got mixed and then it hardened and then it was just like silly putty and then it snapped and then...poof its gone.

You go to bed as the keeper of the play doh, protective and in charge, sure that your play doh will be different and the next day you wake up as an idiot who doesnt know anything about play doh.

and it takes years before you get to play with the play doh again...

like when you have grandchildren.

and you watch your kids play with play doh again and you know that their play doh will start off as clean, new play doh but eventually will get mixed up and hard and you will try to tell them about play doh...but everyone needs to play with their own play doh and mold it and keep it away from the influences that destroy it like the play doh in other containers and the air.

you move on and you move to florida and you play golf instead of play doh because lets face it...its way more fun to hit things with a metal stick now...






And I only put this in to pretend that I am studying for biology...so there!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Living Happily Ever After

When I wanted to get married, people said we were nuts. I mean they really thought it was the stupidest thing they had ever heard.

Hubby and I dated for over a year before we got engaged, but we knew each other for about 5 years before that although we werent really friends.

Let me rephrase that, I knew him because he was cool and in the popular group, I dont think he knew me until I became friends with a girl he was dating. Because until then I was an unknown, stuck between being a loser and a wannabee. Life was tough in 10th grade.

I was 17 when we got engaged.

In my defense I had graduated high school in June and my birthday is late so even though my birth certificate said I was 17, mentally I was like way older.

And yes that is what I tell myself.

So we dated, he left for the Navy, I graduated high school, he came back, I wanted him to never leave me again.

We decide to get married. I am 17, he is 19 and we are from very different families. My parents are Jewish and Athiest Italian. He is 100% Irish Catholic.

Side note: when he told his parents that he was dating me they were like BlahBlahBlah, what kind of last name is that? Just for the record it ends in a vowel. And he said French... really I dont know which was worse in their eyes... the Italian or Jewish.

We pick out a ring, we get engaged and then we have to tell our parents. Being 17, I have to say I was not completely able to express myself like I can now at 40 (and after 5 years of therapy)

So I made hubby tell my dad.

He thought we were too young and that we should wait. He was not opposed to Hubby,even though he was a republican, in fact he liked him a lot, he just thought it was ridiculous to get married at 17 and 19.

I must have blocked it out because for the life of me I cannot remember Hubbys parents reaction. I am sure I made him tell them without me there but I dont even remember asking what their response was, and sickly I am sitting here thinking I dont even want to ask hubby now.

A lot of good the therapy has done.

So here we were getting married at such a young age and while we were planning the wedding we were like... we are planning the wedding for next year and until we are officially married, I cannot get on the Navy base, nor we will recieve any benefits for me. So...we had this great idea to elope.

We called a couple of places in the newspaper and found an interfaith reverand. He was in Freeport and did the weddings in his private chapel. Bingo.

We wake up early one morning with some crazy story about visiting our grandparents in Nassau county and we head off to pick up our witness, my friend from work. We drive to Freeport and we get married.

Here is a little advice I have for anyone getting married. Make the marriage about you and your hubby. Do not make it about the wedding. I could not be happier about the fact that it was just us and we were just about being together and sharing that moment.

Although my wedding was beautiful and I am glad that we did it I would do it so differently now.

I would take only my closest friends and family, no have to invites, and go off to someplace warm and tropical. I would plan a honeymoon that would last for weeks and I would spend every minute enjoying my new hubby and the life I was about to lead. No Djs, no beef, chicken or fish, no wilty expensive flowers and hideous bridesmaids dresses. No spending half the night talking to people we didnt know to appease our families, no fights about table seatings and who didnt want to be near who. None of it...just personally written vows and people who love us and cared about us. That is what a wedding should be.

Lets face it, when Uncle Joe and Aunt Martha combine their gifts with cousins Maria and Tony, for a grand total of 40 dollars, the 100 dollars you spend per plate doesnt seem worth it.

When we eloped it was just us, our witness and the reverand. We didnt tell anyone for months and kept it our own little secret. We did have a wedding but we dont even celebrate that date officially, just the day two young kids made a dream happen and leaped into adulthood.... and never looked back.

Getting married so young had its advantages...we grew up together...we werent set in our ways...we learned about sadness and dissapointment and patience and tolerance and how the world works. We had kids right away... i always wanted to...and I loved being a Mom, I still do, it was the best job I have ever had in my life.

We started our family from scratch and we added all the right ingredients until it grew into a beautiful creation...we tried out different recipes and we finally agreed on one that worked the best...

Look for love that is true and real and lasting... get to know the person but be able to grow together...accept flaws but demand respect...treat each other with kindness and make your future together...and live happily ever after.

Someday my prince will come...

I want to complain about men for a minute.

Or a lot of minutes, its hard to tell until I start writing.

Men are...

how can I say this nicely?

Oh yeah I cant, big stupid idiots.

Men harass you and annoy you for months and months, being republicans and talking about politics and then doing the opposite of what they say...and secretly having fantasies of Sarah Palin...

Men are so passive aggressive. They say things they dont mean and they do things they know they shouldnt. And then they pretend like there is nothing wrong.

Men never get stuck in their clothes. never. You never heard a man say...oh my god, i had to lay on my bed and zip these jeans with a wire hanger. Or oh my god my heels are so high, I broke my ankle walking to my car this morning. Never.

And why do we do that for them? You know it was men who created high heels and tight jeans and push up bras right? What the hell would women care if we all walked around in comfy sweatpants and giant sweatshirts that covered our fat asses and made our boobs look smaller?

Men snore and fart and wipe their noses on their sleeves and then they think they can still get the hot girl with the high heels and the skinny jeans and tramp stamp...

Where are the princes? You know the ones that wear jousting outfits and crowns and carry swords to kill all the dragons that annoy me. Have they all been turned into frogs? Where is the prince that has loads of family money from years of being the rulers of _____________ pick a country...not a middle eastern country though because then they take your kids and hide them there and you cant get them back because when you wear that thing over your head you cant see, although someone mentioned that even if I was wearing one they would know me by my blue mascara.

Remember Prince Charming from Sleeping Beauty or the prince from Snow White or Cinderellas prince who never stopped looking for her in the face of all those ugly girls??? Even when she had dirt on her face and rags on her back, he loved her still. And he was even nice to the evil stepsisters after the wedding.

Girls, marry a prince(and not the music guy who is a symbol)... someone who worships you like a queen(because Queens rule Princes)... someone who can slay your dragons, build you a moat so your mother in law cant get over the drawbridge, clean the castle, polish the crown jewels, put you on a pedestal and never ask you to wear 6 inch heels that can kill you or a sweater so tight when you try to take it off over your head you have to scream help help I am stuck in my clothes.

Princes who can cook and who hate sports and instead say Oh no of course, watch the cooking channel instead. Who never say "Oh we are having Captain Crunch for dinner, again?" and who look forward to spending time with your family...

Princes who hold doors open and fill your car up with gas when you forgot to and its 12 degrees outside...Who fold laundry while you sit and eat bon bons and soak your tired feet in warm water...and they are tired from walking around the mall not from wearing stupid high heels...

I want my girls to have a good life..a life full of happiness and health and princes...Their Dad is a Prince... and I didnt even have to kiss that many frogs to find him...

My choice....



Today is a day for Celebration...

A day America made a choice and put aside racism and false accusations for what was probably the most incredible election of my lifetime.

I heard people talk about the election of John F. Kennedy with the same feelings of hope and possibilities for the future.

We made a choice yesterday people... sort of like the choice I just made now when I turned my computer on...Blog about the most important day in our history or watch a lecture on the classifications of bacteria...it was a tough choice... but since I aced my meeting with my bio professor the other night... I thought the world needed my input today more than I needed to know that Bacteria are of the Kingdom Monera...

I just re watched President Obama speech (doesn't that have a nice ring to it).. and I have chills and tears in my eyes..(no I am not getting the flu) Its a moment that will remain in my mind forever... or at least until the full blown Alzheimer's kicks in.

when he spoke about his wife, his best friend for 16 years, his rock and the center of his whole life... I cant help it... I started crying... because I am grateful that through slavery and riots and racism that we could see past the color of this skin to the person he is on the inside...not a good black man... but a man who is an incredible person, who is brilliant and worldly and a dad who adores his girls, who happens to have a darker pigment of skin than some of the people in this world and a lighter pigment of skin than others...

I am overwhelmed with the possibility of change... real change...I don't think I have felt this way since September 11th when people put down their feelings of pain and suffering and came together in a way that I had never seen before in my life...for each other... for hope and peace...

I feel like we can do anything...we can save our planet and bring peace to the world...we can walk our streets without fear and we can maybe pay our bills.

I know this a lot for a President who is coming into the world that has been damaged in the last 8 years of ignorance and debilitating disregard. but I feel like maybe Obama can do it. Maybe just maybe...things will improve for everyone...whether you are gay or straight, married or single...black or white or yellow or red...

A man who came from nothing and made something of it... a role model for us all... it can be done... we just need to put our minds to it...

We make choices everyday that affect the world we live in.. do we hold the door open for our fellow man... do we stop on the side of the road when someone is broken down...do we reach out to others who have less than we do... do we have Mallomars or milanos..these things impact the world we live...maybe if we all ate more Mallomars during the year they wouldn't take them away in June...only 7 more months...stock up people..

Make a choice today... to better this Earth...don't litter (D#1), smile at a stranger, help a little old lady cross the street, hold the door, say thank you more, recycle(no really I am going to get a green can this weekend) call your mom and tell her you love her and she is amazing(hint hint)be real, like the velveteen rabbit, if you love something or someone tell them, give up your grudges, (i will try, no promises on this one)and just think about the possibilities of the future...

It got a little worrisome yesterday and my friend Ellen and I planned our escape in case McCain and Palin won...first we would cut up all the bears and make giant coats out of them... we would load up the car with all the kids and all the bears...we would make our way north to Nebraska where we would leave the kids(yes this is still going on)see The State of Nebraska has an awesome new law blog if you don't get this reference...then off to Alaska we go to prove that Bristol Palin is really the mother of Trig...(that is why we need the warm bear coats) We would bring Herman, our very large moose mascot to scare away the other Moose with the High Powered Assault rifles (see If you give a moose a high powered assault rifle blog) and once we had our evidence we would try to live in Canada but since its way too cold and our bears might keep us warm enough we would make our way to the Caribbean via Mississippi(because gas is 1.96 there, really)and we would stuff the bears full of cocaine and then send them to Bristol Palins boyfriend Levi so he could sell some drugs and make some money to escape...

Thankfully... none of this needs to happen because we are saved...Our country is on the mend and all is right with the world... except that Mallomar thing... I really have to work on that...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day...Are we moving to Canada?

With Election Day finally here and the possibility that we may be moving to Canada tonight if Obama doesnt win... I thought I would lighten it up with some funny family anecdotes.

In our family, my thought has always been that if we make fun of each other then when others make fun of us, it wouldnt hurt as bad. I know it sounds sadistic but kids are so mean to each other in school, you need a plan to combat the mean girls.

Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you wont make fun of her!

Cady: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying, because the book describes Janis as a dyke] You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches!


So, we are kinda mean to our own because... well, someone has to do it.

These may be some "you had to be there moments" but try to laugh along...

On a trip to bring D#1 to college, 5:30am, in the blue mini-van...

Mom: D#1, what kind of pop tart do you want?
D#1: Light Brown
Check out the word "synesthesia"

Sometime in the not so distant past...

D#2: Since when has noon been at 12 O'Clock?
Mom: What time did you think it was?
D#2: Noon is 11 O'Clock.

Walking down the street right outside of Grand Central Station in Manhattan...
People are honking while sitting in traffic...

D#3: Stops in her tracks, whips around and says "Do I have a sign on my back that says "Honk if I'm pretty?"

Mcdonalds, sitting in a booth next to an older couple...

D#4: Burps really loud
D#4: "Ooh, I'm sorry, that was totally inappopriate"

While watching The Mole, one of the puzzles is "Red & Blue = ___________________

Us:Purple
Hubby:"Is that a known fact that red and blue make purple?"
Us:Yeah like in Kindergarten 101.


Now being the writer of the blog and having creative license I have chosen to leave myself out of this family bashing... really I just couldnt think of any dumb thing I have ever said... No really I cant.

My girls are so different from each other it baffles me the more I learn about DNA how many different combinations they make up. You see in some families, kids who look exactly alike, or where every kid is a doctor. Not in this family...

D#1: Only kid with straight hair...5'7"...looks irish...loves to read...like obsessively...loves math and will spend her days with numbers and love it...loves to cook and is really good at it...would try any food and once ate Bambi in Disneyworld...played golf and tennis in high school...was 8th in her high school class...hates socially awkward situations although seriously freaked out recently on someone who said Obama was a terrorist,,,hahaha

D#2: Curly Black hair(ok maybe it comes from a bottle, the black not the curls)...5'7 1/2"...super social...would rather have a book burning party then read...would eat rice krispies treats as a main staple...played lacrosse in high school...homecoming queen...avoids confrontation more than her mother...will rule the business world with her super creative business and public relation skills...wont talk politics but sends very funny anti palin material...

D#3: Blonde Super Curly hair...5'5" and growing...the "little one in our family"...only kid who lives in the music world...plays violin, guitar, sings and loves to be on stage...laughs uncontrollably in socially awkward situations...like in temple when I sneezed really loud...talks about eating healthy as she eats candy...oh wait thats me...her too...has no appendix and no tonsils...tried sports but seriously didnt get the whole "sweating" thing...dislikes animals but will say puppies and babies are cute from afar...

D#4: Up until a few days ago...pink hair, we dyed it for breast cancer awareness month, it didnt grow in that way...5'10" and still growing...where does that come from?...hubby is about the same height as her and I am 5'6".Oh yeah... she was switched at birth with our real daughter...has been in the emergency room more times than all the other girls combined...2 concussions, 2 broken arms, 5 dislocated elbows, broken tooth...plays a sport every season...tennis...volleyball...basketball...track...will
also rule the world someday...wants to be a doctor...loves kids and puppies...

so you see how different each one is...it is amazing how individual they are... yet... they all have gorgeous blue eyes and just incredibly special parents...hahaha...they are all super smart and kind and loving...and they make me proud each and every day.

I love the differences in them and I love to see them all together and see how similar they are... we havent been all together since June and I cannot wait for Thanksgiving...for all the yelling and talking and debating and gossiping and cooking and eating... i miss the chaos that used to be our house...although sometimes the quiet is good too...


Hopefully we will be celebrating Thanksgiving here at home and not on the road to Canada... where we will have to make a new life if McCain/Palin win. I think we missed thanksgiving in Canada...maybe the carribean, its a little warmer there...No worries...pina coladas on thanksgiving...yeah I can see it...