Home Alone Again

Ok so I am home alone again. I got out of work early, thought up all these great things to do and now am sitting at my computer thinking how I should be doing all those things but am so unmotivated.

Here is the thing. I love my kids. Really even when I complain about them. So I enjoy their company. I want to get a manicure pedicure but its not fun alone. There is no one to roll your eyes with or giggle uncontrollably.

I want to clean out the basement but that requires heavy lifting and I dont want to do that either. Alone. It doesnt seem fun at all to go through old games and toys with no one to be like, where did all the monopoly money go or why do we have 8 twister boards?

My room is a mess and I really should clean it but I dont even sleep in there anymore because of Hubby's snoring. I mean who cares if its a mess when hes in there.

Its about to storm and how fun is it to eat chips and dip and brownies alone in a storm. Not fun at all.

I could clean because the house is filthy. But I am waiting for a thyroid storm to come along to give me the energy to do that.

I am done with all my summer classes and waiting for my books for my fall classes so I have no homework to do.

Bills, paperwork, Nah, just dont feel like dealing with that right now.

A million phone calls to make doctor appts for D3 and D4 and the endocrinologist, D1 and Hubby for the dermatologist, me for the dentist, D2 for glasses... Problem is that could take all day and I could still not get anything accomplished.

Steam clean the carpet? no my mother borrowed the cleaner and i dont feel like going to get it.

Plus its about to pour.

Could do work, Actually I came home early and said I would do that, but I need my glasses and they are in the car, or downstairs or somewhere where I dont feel like looking for them.

Sit here pitifully, thinking if I had just had 2 more kids I wouldnt be this lonely.

Maybe I should go get a puppy,,,, that sounds like a fabulous idea.

See you... woof woof.

Home Alone

Did you ever see Home Alone?

That is me. I am home alone.

I mean not really. D1 is upstairs but she is leaving for work at 715am. Hubby is leaving at the same time. D2 is in Washington DC in her new apartment. D3 is away at camp until August 1st and D4 is vacationing with her friend in Myrtle Beach.

What shall I do with my aloneness?

Shall I clean the house?

No I have no helpers. I mean D1 helped cook and clear the table but I did the dishes. Is this what my life is going to be like when they leave for good? Me with all the chores.

I knew I had a lot of kids for a reason. Why is it getting so close to the empty nest? I am not ready. I mean I did lay outside all day. I ate when I was hungry and I went food shopping for 3 instead of 6. I didnt save any money though because I bought more expensive food.

Porterhouse steaks, roasted potatoes, cheesy bread, tomato and mozzarella salad and grilled vegetables.

And when D1 went to do laundry, there wasnt any. Granted I did all the laundry on Thursday but seriously... no laundry. I didnt even know those 2 words could be next to each other.

So here I am home alone at 11pm and what I am doing? Blogging. Answering email. Wishing someone was home to get me a bowl of cherries.

No helpers, no slaves, no one to talk girl talk to because hubby is a boy and clearly does not understand the merits of obsessing over certain subjects.

I miss my kids. Not just now but when they were little. I miss my life. The one I planned with lots of kids and fun. Not quiet. That is not fun at all.

Maybe I should start planning some tricks like Mulcalhy Culkin did in Home Alone. Watch out Hubby and D1.

The games shall begin.

Good thing Clover loves me.

My Temporary Absence

I've been away for awhile now...

I have been with another blog.

I know I know I am sorry I cheated on you with another blog.

But you were getting all old and boring and I had to try out a new one.

Really?
No!

I had a school project due and it took all of my time to work on that.

Plus I havent been that funny lately.

SO.... if you want to check out the "other blog" and stalk that a little you can do that....until I come back which will be soon... I promise.


http://dragonfliestoheaven.blogspot.com/

I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Days ago I had this whole blog written in my head. It was titled Heaven just got a new angel.

It was great as my invisible head blogs always are.

But I had to... i dont know pick something... take D4 and her friend to get her nails done, take D3 to physical therapy, take D2 up to college or do laundry, cooking, cleaning, homework, etc.

So I didnt get to write it.

And now... its not coming to me as eloquently as it was before.

Jews believe in heaven but not in hell.

Convenient I say...

So I guess I believe that good people go to heaven, but what happens to bad people?

whatever not really my point right now and not really what i want to talk about.

Heaven is a place where people go when they die.

Last week a beautiful brave young woman went to heaven.

She had such a short life to live, just 27 years but she lived them in a way that brightened the lives of so many people.

She was diagnosed with s similar kind of cancer to hubby. He had synovial sarcoma, she had osteosarcoma and chandrasarcoma.

She was diagnosed in September of 2003. She was 21 years old and just graduated college. Hubby had been cancer free for 10 years at that point.

In sarcoma world the cancer comes back at 10 years, you are never totally safe.

We met her in 1990 when my sister started dating Tizzy. She was 9 years old.

She babysat for my kids and she sparkled wherever she went.

When she was diagnosed her parents threw her a huge 22nd birthday party. She was heading for a huge surgery invented by Hubbys doctor Dr. Boland from Memorial Sloan Kettering.

We knew then that Hubbys cancer had meaning. He had to have it so Dr. Boland could treat Stacie. It made sense that way. Stony Brook Hospital told her that there was nothing they could do. Dr. Boland said he had an idea and he consulted with people all over the world and they came up with the surgery.

At her party, Stacie told me, I feel lucky to have had cancer at this point in my life. I will beat it and then for the rest of my life I will appreciate all the little things. I will live my life to the fullest, I will treasure every moment.

From the first surgery in December 2003 until the last procedure just a few weeks ago every thing that could go wrong did.

She never had one moment of peace, but you would never know it.

We visited her in the hospital many times. She smiled through the agony. She would answer how are you with good how are you?

She wanted details about the kids what they were doing, how they were. She laughed and never once showed the depth of her pain and the suffering she was going through.

All the information got worse. The chemo didnt work, the cancer grew, then it spread.

We knew that the cancer would kill her but somehow we always hoped there would be a miracle.

The miracle was that she lived this long. This kind of cancer usually kills you quicker.

A few weeks ago we got the last bit of bad news... she was coming home but it was hospice. It was just a matter of weeks.

And last Wednesday, she finally slipped away in her sleep peacefully like she deserved to.

At the wake Mrs. T told me, Nancy do you know what she was wearing when they came to take her, when the angels came to take her..

The shirt D2 designed that said CANCER SUCKS.

Hubby has one, Stacie had one and D2 has one with Hubbys and Stacies initials on each sleeve.

Things are never funny at funerals. I became a comedian when hubby had cancer. A professional, not just playing one on tv.

But funerals... there arent many funny things there.

Of course except nuns.

Nuns are always funny.

so when we were driving in the funeral procession and we almost got seperated it was because the nuns were driving too fast in front of us

So i called them the flying nuns.

that was pretty funny.

Well then when we got to the chapel, no one sat in front of us or behind us and the kids were like, its because we are jews and if god striked the jews dead no one wants to be sitting next to us.

So they sat the nuns there. I guess they figure they have a free pass with the big guy upstairs, they didnt have to worry about armageddon in the chapel.

The service was stupidly religious and impersonal. Jesus suffered so should you... dont get that. lets weep for jesus. dont get that either.

So lets just say when the nuns started singing God is Good God is Good over and over in a high pitched voice, not only was I not touched, but i thought it was funny.

I cant tell you how many times my family said to me this weekend, you are going to hell.

Cant... jews dont believe in Hell.

Loophole... haha

So i am sitting in the chapel...laughing at nuns... and everyone is watching... so I put my head in my hands and try to contain it.

But the emotions in me from the whole week would not be kept in.

I thought of dead puppies, I bit my lip, D1 squeezed me, Nothing could stop my hysteria.

So... we finally get up to place a flower on stacies casket and I manage to do this safely without ridiculing any nuns.

and then D1 tripped. And I started to giggle again.

but at least I made it outside. and i huddled with my family and i told them the story, nuns singing about god in a chapel.

How funny is that?

They dont always appreciate my humor.

You are going to hell they said.

No of course I am not I said.

I dont like the heat and my hair would frizz.

Heaven got a new angel this week. She sparkles like a rainbow and she loved with every bit of her soul. She brightened my life in so many ways and the lives of so many others. She suffered so greatly, no GOD would ever allow that.

and the nuns... D4 wanted to know if they get to hook up with the priests.

No of course not, priests only like little boys, not flying nuns.

Be serious really, this is a time for grieving.

or is it a time for laughs and joking.

Stacie wouldnt have wanted it any other way...

Some Problems Man!

So we just got back from Jamaica. The country. Not Queens. Although we spent most of the trip in Queens. The borough, not the band.

See if you can spot the problems in the following few pictures.






For anyone who has never traveled in NY I will tell you the problems with the pictures.

In picture 1, it is 4:30am and we are on the way to LaGuardia Airport in our snazzy limo with fred our personal driver.

In picture 2, it is almost 9am and we are still in LaGuardia 2 hours past our scheduled departure, seriously cutting into my pina colada time.

In picture 3, we are at Kennedy airport. How in the world you ask did we end up in Kennedy airport?

Exactly.

It is called the Dooley effect.

It used to be called Murphys Law but who the hell is Murphy anyway and I am sure we have way more incidents than him.

Dooley's Law states that anything that can go wrong... will.

So we are scheduled to leave NY at 6:50am. Why in God's name would anyone leave on vacation that early? To soak up the Jamaican sun Man. No problems man, no worries. Get there early, relaxing, dont waste time sleeping.

D3 goes to the Performing Arts Prom the friday night before we leave and dear sweet hubby picks her up at 1am in Nassau County 45 minutes away. They get home around 1:45am and we all sleep for less than 2 hours before we start getting ready.

We leave our house at 4:30am and we get to the airport around 5:30am two hours before we are now scheduled to leave, after our flight has been changed to 7:40am.

Let me point out that when Hubby and I went to the Dominican Republic we missed our connecting flight so I purposely made this flight with a 3 hour layover in Miami. Even our great American Airlines couldnt screw up a 3 hour layover. I mean The Skipper and Gilligan screwed up a 3 hour tour, but a 3 hour layover? No problem Man.

When our flight was delayed until 8:15am we questioned the lovely lady behind the counter. Why yes that is sarcastic, thanks for playing along. So she says you have plenty of time to make your connecting flight.

When our flight was delayed until 8:45am we asked the incredibly unhelpful demon spawn what our chances were of making our connecting flight which was now leaving Miami at 12:15pm.

The equally unhelpful man next to the seriously unhelpful beast lady says to the people in front of us, pray that your connecting flight is late.

Um excuse me I will be saving my praying for the flight not plummeting from the sky, not wasting it on hoping that the flight in Miami is delayed.

So when Hubby inquires for the billionth time about whether or not we are heading towards our long awaited trip to Jamaica man, this time the American Airlines Devil Spawn says "Well do you want to go to Kennedy?"

No actually I dont. I want to leave about 3 hours ago like I planned, I want to be in Miami having lunch and getting on a plane in a few minutes to Jamaica like I planned when I booked this trip 2 months ago.

Like I planned.

Not standing in LaGuardia thinking about knocking the next 3 people in line out of the way so we can get on the plane in Kennedy which thankfully is literally 20 minutes away.?

"If we miss the connecting flight in Miami when is the next flight to Jamaica?"

Never. Its freaking never.

So I guess we are going to Kennedy then thank you lovely troll.

Oh your welcome she says.

Obviously she doesnt understand sarcasm.

So off we head to Kennedy, a little annoyed but still on our way to Jamaica.

When we get to Kennedy we ask about our luggage.

Oh did you want your luggage on this trip?

That will be extra.

hahaha

No really... your luggage is on the flight from NY to Miami, with no connecting flight into Jamaica.

It may arrive on another flight that is due into Jamaica around 8:20pm.

Hmmm... that does not sound likely, or logical at all.

When we get to Kennedy we discover our flight is delayed a half an hour. Because the flight crew is late/resting/recovering from a serious hangover/showing up late to work.

So they load us up on the plane because lets face it, the crew should not have to wait for us to you know walk on the plane when they finally arrive but we should wait for them in the smelly/skanky/stuffy/coffin they call a plane.

We finally take off and woohoo we are on our way to Jamaica.

We arrive in Jamaica around 4:30pm way after our scheduled arrival time of 1:05pm.

We go to the American Airline Counter.

Hey we are here. Yea good for you, they say.

Our luggage is missing and then we explain the whole story. Slowly so the stoned American Airlines girl can understand.

No she says. The luggage from the Miami flight is over there.

We calmly, I mean as calmly as anyone who was delayed in NY for over 5 hours can be, explain that there would be no way our luggage could be here because...we explain the whole story... we switched airports, flight from NY to Miami did not make it in time...

Um no... she says I think all the luggage from Miami came in over there.

I mean honestly we tried to explain it but then we seriously just walked over to look because she was so convinced that it would be there... or really she hoped to sneak out while we were looking.

Guess what? Our luggage was there.

No of course not. What good would this story be if our luggage was just sitting there? No but there were a bunch of other peoples luggage there with no people to get it. Hmmm... this is a great place for thieves.

You may as well have put a sign on it that said FREE LUGGAGE.

So we go back to Ms. Personality/Rocket Scientist.

Our bags arent there.

She is baffled because all the luggage from Miami is there. right over there. are you sure you looked there?

Oh My God.... our luggage is in Miami, I am sure.

OK can you describe whats in the luggage?

Clothes.

Yeah I had had enough by then.

Can you describe the clothes?

Girls Clothes.

In which suitcase where there girls clothes?

All of them.

Were there shoes in the bags?

Just one bag had shoes.

Only one bag had shoes?

Dont judge me stoned jamaican american airlines lady.

We have one whole suitcase full of shoes.

Anything else in the bags.

Toiletries.

In which bag was that?

The shoe bag OK OK OK

Yes we did go to Jamaica with an entire bag with just shoes and toiletries.

We are 5 women and 1 man.

We went with 4 bottles of shampoo and conditioner, 2 full bars of our special soap that no one is allergic too, 2 packages of benadryl, 2 of claritin, and on and on and on. The entire suitcase was filled with sunscreen and hair gel.

So we go through the painful excrutiating process of explaining exactly what is in the bags and we leave the airport pretty sure that we will never see our luggage again.

We arrive at the hotel and we have to cancel our dinner reservations because we have no clothes.

We have been up since 3:30am, it is now 5:30pm and we have no toothbrush.

We do not get our luggage until 7:30am the next morning.

We slept in the clothes on our back and we fell asleep by the pool.

So this is how our vacation started.

I must say it only got better from there and I will blog about that more in the future.

Here are two of my favorite pictures though...




No Problem Man!!!
Its all good!!!

Stolen Advice

Ok so I totally jacked this from an email but I felt like it was worth passing on. This has been a trying week for us as we waited for Hubby to get test results from a possible cancer relapse. He is ok and we are grateful. A very beautiful amazing girl we know is losing her battle with a similar cancer and we have just a million other things going on that created a week of scary dreams and crazy antics. Please read this and please live your life today like it was your last. Things change on a dime and it could all be over in a minute.


A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.

A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.......
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
I Believe...
That just because two people argue, that
doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, that
doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe.....
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love .

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words . It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe......
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
When you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had,
and what you've learned from them.....and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, if
a friend cries out to you........you will find the strength to help.

I Believe....
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe....
That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. I just did.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything.

Thank you God for all the wonderful people who help us throughout the journey of life ..
God Bless You!

Supergirl Fails

Last night after a family barbecue I was laying in my bed thinking what a great blog idea I had and this morning... I cant for the life of me even think of what was so important I actually almost got out of bed to get my computer.

I have weird random health issues that my kids term hypochondria. I wish it was that simple. I know the symptoms are real and they are confusing and most doctors dont want to hear it so I frequently diagnose and treat myself. That does not make me a hypochondriac, that makes me an amateur doctor with creative license of diagnosis and treatment. My father is an amateur pharmacist so once I prescribe something he can usually dig it out of his underwear draw. We make a solid team.

So one of my many issues is what the doctors term glucose intolerance/insulin resistance, hypoglycemia,borderline diabetic, whatever.

the result of this is that when I eat sugar my pancreas does not make insulin right away. It lags behind, like its outside smoking pot with liver and kidneys. Then as the sugar is floating around my body reeking havoc on my organs my pancreas is like holy shit man there is sugar in here I better go after one more toke of weed man.

so then it goes into overdrive and spits out too much insulin. And I crash.

the reason I tell you this is because when I drink alcohol, the same thing.

So at the family barbecue I didnt eat because really I thought the food sucked. I panicked at the last minute and went and bought chicken and sausage and peppers and then the barbecue didnt behave, whatever I wasnt really happy with the food. So I ate a sausage and some peppers and some macaroni salad.

and I had a beer.

And I felt fine.

So I had another one.

Then after everyone left, D1 and friend and I cracked open a bottle of Moscato wine which I love.

And I had a glass.

and I felt fine.

so I had 3 more.

And then I went to sleep.

And during the night when my pancreas got back from the hood, smoking crack and basically stumbling around in the dark, it took over.

and there is a good chance I am drunk right now.

and i wondered as i drove D3 to school this morning if you could get pulled over at 7am for being drunk when you havent had a drink in 10 hours.

It was my bodies fault officer, mainly my pancreas that decided to wait until about 5am to start working flooded my body with insulin and poof here I am.

I have already had two cups of coffee and yet I still feel dizzy and lightheaded.

I am sure that is why I cant think of last nights excellent blog idea.

In any case... we had a family bbq to celebrate D1s graduation and D3 turning 16. It started out as just the usual crowd but we added some new faces and frankly that saved the day.

MON I have to say we totally missed your moms excellent deviled eggs and how she and I would stay in the kitchen and bitch about everyone.

We have the Muriel rule in place now, no talking about people while they are still within ear shot and check your cell phone to make sure it is not drunk dialing as you are talking about people.

I know you are thinking why not just stop talking about people.

What else do you want me to do stop breathing?

So the food sucked and some of the company was less than desirable but for the most part, I guess it was fine.

I am hypercritical of my parties and on a scale of one to ten this rated somewhere around a 4 for food and like an 8 for entertainment.

I was reminded twice of how much I have to live up to based on past performance though. My cousin called to say that they couldnt make it and she said my uncle was dissapointed because "nancy always puts out a nice spread"

Then my mother in law said... oh my god nancy how do you do it all? When we got the invitation I thought how is Nancy doing all this, school, work, the kids, the party, the vacation...

and i thought yeah how am I doing all this...

and a lot more going on that people dont know about.

Seriously the vegetables were too salty, the salad was soggy, the chicken was bland, the hamburgers and hotdogs were burned...

Supergirl Fails

But I spent the morning with hubby drinking coffee and shopping for the party..

I spent the next few hours in the kitchen with my favorite people... my daughters and a new borrowed addition to our family D1s friend from college(who we want to adopt or kidnap)

I talked to friends that I love for the afternoon, some who I see everyday and never run out of things to talk about and some who I dont see often but feel like i saw them yesterday when we get together.

I had wine with D1s friends from high school who no matter what they do behind my back always walk into my house and greet me enthusiastically and politely make conversation and feel just as comfortable with adults as they do with their own.

I slept in my own bed close to the love of my life, (until his snoring drove me out)

and i woke up to live another day, healthy and happy and looking forward to more good things to come this week.

Supergirl I may not be but superhappy I am.

Its all good

For today.

And I treasure that. You have to. Take pleasure in the small moments. They come but once but in the end they add up to a lifetime of memories.