Liar Liar Pants on Fire...

I was given a challenge if I chose to accept it and well of course... a challenge is a challenge. So I am not sure I am able to complete the assignment but I will try my best.

Baby Baby stick your head in gravy wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy.

Great Green Globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, little birdies bloody feet, french fried eyeballs rolling in the frying pan but I forgot my spoon so they gave me a... scab sandwich with pus on top, monkeys vomit and camel snot, elephants eyeballs split in two, eat it nancy its good for you.

Beans Beans there good for your heart, the more you eat the more you fart, the more you fart the better you feel, so eat beans at every meal.

The Adams Family started when Uncle Fester farted, they really are retarded the Adams family.

When you're standin' in the shower
And you smell somethin sour,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea,
When you're slidin' into home
And your pants are full of foam,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea,
When you smell somethin' funky
And your pants are feelin chunky,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea,
When you're sittin' in a class,
And that fart let out more than gas,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea,
When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter
diarrhea
diarrhea
When you think its kind of funny
but its really soft and runny
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
Some people think it's gross,
But it's really good on toast!
Diarrhea, diarrhea!

Miss Susie had a tug boat,
her tug boat had a bell (ding ding),
miss Susie went to heaven her tug boat went to HELL...o operator
please give me number nine,
and if you disconnect me I'll cut off your behind the refridgerator
there lay a piece of glass
miss Susie sat upon it and cut her little ASS...k me no more questions,
I'll tell you now more lies
the boys are in the bathroom zipping up their flys..are in the meadow,
the bees are in the park,
miss Susie and her boyfriend are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, dark dark dark.


comet it makes your mouth turn green
comet it tastes like gasoline
comet it makes you vomit
So buy some comet and vomit today

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
the batmobile lost a wheel and the joker got away


Going to kentucky going to the fair to see the senorita with flowers in her hair. Shake it shake it shake it shake it all you can, shake it like a milkshake and do the best you can. rumble to the bottom, rumble to the top turn around and turn around until you make it stop.

All the girls in France
Do the hula hula dance
and the way they shake
is enough to kill a snake
when the snake is dead
you put diamonds in his head
when the diamonds break
it's enough to bake a cake
when the cake is done
it is 1981
when you tie your shoe
it is 1982
when you get stung by a bee
it is 1983
when you slam a door
it is 1984
when you dance the jive
it is 1985
when you pick up sticks
it is 1986
when you like a boy named devon
it is 1987
when you close the gate
it is 1988
when you're feelin' fine
it is 1989
then it gets all cold
then you
FREEZE!

Chinese Japanese
Dirty Knees
What are these
Boobies

Milk, milk lemonade
'Round the corner fudge is made.
Put your finger in the hole,
Now you got a Tootsie Roll

Miss Susie had a baby
she named him Tiny Tim
She put him in the bath tub
to see if he can swim
He drank up all the water,
he ate up all the soap
He tried to fit the bathtub
but it wouldn't fit his throat
Mrs. Susie called the doctor
The doctor called the nurse
The nurse called the lady
with the alligator purse

oh little playmate
Come out and play with me.
And bring your dollys three.
Climb up my apple tree.
Slide down my rainbow.
Into my cellar door.
And we'll be jolly friends.
For every more
One two three four.
oh little enemy
Come out and fight with me.
And bring your soldiers three.
Climb up my poisonous tree.
I'll bring my bb gun
and we'll have lots of fun
I'll scratch your eyes out
and make you bleed to death
And we'll be be jolly enemies
For ever more One two three four.


Eeny Meeny Miney Moe, catch a tiger by the toe if he hollers let him go. My mother said to pick the very best one and you are NOT it.

Down down baby down by the roller coaster sweet sweet baby i'll never let you go, shimmy shimmy cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy pop, shimmy shimmy cocoa pop shimmy shimmy pop

Trick or treat smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I don't care- I'll pull down your underwear.

teddy bear teddy bear turn around,
teddy Bear teddy bear touch the ground,
teddy bear teddy bear go upstairs,
teddy bear teddy bear say your prayers,
teddy bear teddy bear turn off the light,
teddy bear teddy bear say goodnight

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured all the teachers, we have broken every rule.
We have hung the secretary, we have shot the principal,
Our gang goes marching on.
Glory, glory, what’s it to ya?
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
Met her at the gate with a loaded .38
And she ain’t gonna teach no more!

Me Chinese, me play joke,
Me put pee-pee in your Coke.

Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack
All dressed in black, black, black
With silver buttons, buttons, buttons
All down her back, back, back.

She asked her mom, mom, mom
For fifty cents, cents, cents,
To see the boys, boys, boys
Pull down their pants, pants, pants.

When someone says "Shut up..."
Reply with "I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you I throw up! Then your mother comes around the corner and licks it up!"

Mistakes I have made No eraser big enough

I have made so many mistakes in my life. Actually I am making one right now. I have over 300 pages I have to read for homework yet I am sending rude emails and blogging. Yesterday I made a mistake, I went shopping instead of doing my homework. The day before more mistakes, more shopping, no homework.

Oh procrastination... a mistake I make often over and over again. Isnt that the definition of a moron, someone who does the same things over and over and expects a different result.

The mistakes I make on a daily basis are nothing compared to the catastrophic mistakes that I made that will last forever.

For instance, procrastinating is not such a big mistake but I passed it on to my children and that is a big mistake.

Oh my children... I have made such big mistakes with them, things I can never take back or change now. You know when you dont do a good job training your dog and then for the rest of its life it pees in the house or bites people, yeah those kind of mistakes.

Man I picked a bad week to give up crack.

Another huge mistake I made with the kids... I taught them to use ben and jerrys as a crutch. It used to be we saved ben and jerrys for catastrophic things like death and taxes but now we are like, oh I broke a nail its a ben and jerrys night. I have taught my kids this. When is distress reach for chocolate. I cant undo that. I can barely stop myself. D3 and I were just in 7-11 and they had a 3 lb candy bar that I was eyeing. We laughed because the other night we were talking about whether or not you get butterflies still when you see your boyfriend or husband and I said well do you get butterflies still when you see him like I get when I see that 3 lb Hershey Bar? and this morning while I was looking at it D3 was like oh my god I have never seen your eyes light up like that.

Another mistake... perhaps I have said one too many times Boys are stupid. I thought I was raising my girls to be strong independent women. I wanted them to stand on their own without any need for a boy to take care of them. I think it backfired. They are so independent that boys have become... well expendable. Is that a word? Well I mean that boys dont seem to be permanent fixtures in our house. They come and go... like.... well like Ben and Jerrys. I mean I used to love Neapolitan Dynamite. I used to make Hubby drive to multiple stores if he couldnt find it. No nothing else will do. No I cant buy chocolate fudge brownie and cherry garcia and mix them. No it is not the same thing. You have been to 3 stores already, did you try the 7-11 in MIller Place? they always have it. You havent tried there yet well then you havent tried everywhere.

Now...New York Superfudge Chunk. No I couldnt eat Neapolitan Dynamite. because Neapolitan Dynamite annoys me. Its all in my face, getting on my nerves and stuff. sometimes it has more chocolate fudge brownie and not enough cherry garcia sometimes vice versa. Whatever you know what? I just dont want it anymore. No never. I never want to see it again and if it knocks on my door I am not changing my mind. Even if it offers to change into something better it can never be New York Superfudge Chunk.Ok fine.

I have taught my girls that there are only three boys a girl can trust in her life. Ben, Jerry and her daddy. And only if her daddy is carrying a bag of Ben and Jerrys.

I have not done a good job as a mother. And as I was so busy patting myself on the back criticizing all the other mothers I didnt know until I discovered that my kids have issues. Such as obsessive compulsively trying to get paint spots off the floor, (how did that happen because I could care less) Oh I can blame hubby for that. Or being so irrestible that multiple people stalk them. Oh wait hubby again. Being so competitive in sports and games that they plan revenge on people from one game to the next. Hmmmm hubby again. Being a serious partier and being the life of the party. Yeah not me again.

Ok wait. This is all hubbys fault. I cant believe I have been taking responsibility for these mistakes. They arent mine, they are all genetic traits of hubby and his family.

Oh thank god I am still perfect and yea Boys are still stupid.

nothing to say nothing to do

Yeah right. do you actually believe I have nothing to do and nothing to say? I dont believe either of those things will ever happen.

in any case what i meant to say is that i dont have time to say anything and dont have time to do anything.

plus i feel too sick to do either.

i am wasting hours on my computer, looking at things i wish i didnt, worrying about things that have nothing to do with me.

i have art homework to do. dont laugh, it still takes hours to do it whether or not its too hard or not.

i have cheyenne to do. nah tisenst deh dun. nancy nah hasheveh.

what is your name? My name is Nancy. See I am learning.

So today was full of stress and not so fun. I had to sign the papers saying I give up on sueing the stupid bastard who stole my store.

I was up all night with my favorite daughter holding her hair back as she puked. She is little and furry and black and not feeling so well. and she is my favorite today, because she hasnt yet today, rolled her eyes at me, talked back, fell on her bad knees, talked like mrs swan or asked me to drive her anywhere or pick her up from anywhere. she just looked at me last night and said "mommy i do not feel well" please hug me. and i did. and she said thanks.

She talks to me all the time and seriously if you dont believe that you should not be reading my blog.

she tells me when she is thirsty and no one fills up her water. she tells me when the people at the vet are bad to her. she tells me when she wants a treat and when she thinks the cats are trying to overthrow the world. yes she does speak cat. she spent alot of time with them before we adopted her.

okay really this blog is going nowhere, i am tired, irritated, nervous, sick and i want candy. i want candy and i cant have any because my friend at work and i decided that we should at least do this for 7 days. I already want to quit. For real. I am stressed out and I want candy.

Candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy

Welcome to my world where everyones a pony and we all eat rainbows and poop butterflies

22 years ago....I had already been in labor for 31 hours, with my parents and my mother in law by my side as my hubby tried to get home from California. He was stationed there in the Navy and I was waiting for the arrival of D1. I bet D1 is doing right now what she was doing 22 years ago, curled up in a ball hoping to never have to face the world again. HaHa It is 630am.

At this point I believe Hubby had left California and was en route to see the birth of his first child. He arrived just 4 hours before she was born and after the epidural. That is when he said the thing that almost made him physically incapable of ever having children again. Oh you look comfortable. Oh yeah... after the epidural.... I had already been in labor since Thursday night at 1130pm. It was now Saturday at 10am. I was 19, exhausted, and petrified.

It was a beautiful weekend, in the 60's and I was stuck in the hospital the whole weekend because in those days they kept you in forever. On Monday I begged to go home because Hubby was leaving Tuesday morning for the Navy. I cried and begged and they finally let me. We had one night together before he went back to Cali and we didnt see him again for 6 weeks.

Those days were so hard, or so I thought. I never imagined how much harder things get. When you have babies and toddlers you cant imagine it getting any more hectic or more ridiculous. But here is the scene from my house the other night.

I am never sick. Never I just dont have time for it. So I started feeling crappy Thursday afternoon. Really I probably woke up feeling crappy but I tried to ignore it because I had too much to do. I had an enormous headache though that would just not go away. So I tried tylenol,then aspirin, then advil. Nothing would get rid of the headache. We were done early at work so I left at 130 and did something else I never do. Laid on the couch the whole day. Didnt move except to get D3 from school, then bring D3 back to school, pick D4 up from school and drop her off at babysitting.
Finally I get home, go back to the couch and I was so sick I couldnt move. I text hubby, the only thing I could possibly think of eating is slice and bake chocolate chip cookies and a big gulp diet coke. So being the excellent husband he is, he gets it for me, brings it home and doesnt even complain that his dinner is cookies. and he makes the cookies.

So I take Aleve, because I have tried everything else and nothing has taken away the pain in my head and the excrutiating pain in my joints. Let me just add that I had been nauseous the whole day, probably after the bacon,egg and cheese, I had for breakfast.

D4 gets home from babysitting, Hubby picks D3 up from her play that she is in, D3 goes to get into the shower and I am laying on the couch, sick, sick ,sick. Hubby goes to bed and D4 is laying on the other couch. All of a sudden we hear this thump and we look over and my precious poopsie Clover is having another seizure. This has been going on for awhile and she had an appointment for a liver sonogram on Friday anyway. But i jump up off the couch and go to hold her which is what I always do when she has a seizure.

Well as soon as I move, I feel it. Total barforama coming. I move to my dog but I cant hold my head up for fear that the vomit is coming.D4 is holding her dog and petting her and saying its ok honey and I am laying with my head on the floor ready to blow. I scream upstairs D3 get out of the bathroom. She comes out wrapped in a towel, about to get into the shower and sees the scene and freaks out. D3 is not the person you want standing by in a crisis.

I run for the bathroom, knowing I have about 4 seconds to lift off and the bathroom is about 5 seconds away.

Side note... i hate to throw up and I havent thrown up in years. Actually not true I threw up a few weeks ago but before that... a long time. I threw up so much when I was pregnant with D1 and D3 that there may be no more vomit left in my body. Literally everyday, all day long, the whole nine months. I know I know and then I still had kids after them but they were perfect babies. Opposite with D2 and D4, good pregnancies, bad babies.

So I am sadly puking up all my cookies, haha, pun intended and my big gulp and I am thinking that what if I could never eat that stuff again. Once when I was pregnant with D3 I threw up a yoohoo and an everything bagel and have not eaten either one since.

you'll be happy to know I think I am ok, I havent tried it yet but it doesnt seem repulsive to me, like everything bagels and yoohoo.

anyway... on my way to throw up I say to freaking out D3, wake up daddy, tell him I am throwing up and Clover is having a seizure. So he gets up to help the dog, I mean seriously he has spent enough times holding my hair back and getting puked on. Back in the day like D3 and her boyfriend are in now where everything is lovey, kissy, even puke. Now, no he would rather take care of clover.

So I am laying on the bathroom floor which PS I have not cleaned in far too long and notice that as I am laying there. D3 is sitting outside the bathroom saying Mom are you ok. And I am screaming Stop dont listen to me throw up.

It was quite a scene. Clover's seizure ended, I only threw up twice and D3 finally calmed down. D4 cuddled with her poopsie girl and then we all went to bed.

Just another evening on the homefront.

Sort of like another time when D4 was having a seizure and D1 was throwing up. I think I already told that story, about D4 standing on a wheelie chair, if not I will tell it another time.

Babies are hard but man teenagers are way harder. Who knew when you were carefully breastfeeding them that later on they would eat doritos and gummi worms? Who knew when you taught them to share and play nice they would do that with boys, teenage boys who think teenage boy things and you would spend the next years sneaking up on them undercover to make sure nothing funny was going on? All the years you taught them to have manners, who knew that one summer when you worked and didnt pay attention, they would instantly go back to eating with their hands, burping loudly, and talking with food in their mouth?

It all goes bad. I have an idea of how the world should work perfectly and i will share that with you next time but for now its a birthday weekend and we are celebrating now that the curse of D1 has been lifted.

Party on Dude.

Footprints in the sand? Not me Jesus I walk alone

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This used to be one of my favorite poems. For a little jewish girl from the middle of Long Island for some reason I thought this was such a powerful thought.

It was then that I carried you. Wow.

As an adult it isnt often we feel the support of something like this. I carried you.

Think about the last time you were carried. Most likely by your parents or even maybe by your spouse or boyfriend you know before you gained like 40 lbs.

Being carried means that you are unable to move on alone. You need the help of someone. Someone strong, someone who loves you more than life. Someone who struggles for you so you dont have to.

D3's boyfriend carried her up the stairs recently. It was adorable. He is strong and totally in love with her and she was tired and cranky and he carried her.

Hubby used to carry me. Well before I weighed !@##$ and the safe feeling of being carried was taken over by my fear of him having a heart attack or even worse, dropping me.

I am beating around a very large bush, the burning bush? maybe.

In any case, I have always thought this poem meant something. At different points in my life I have seriously believed in God and other times when I just sensed the presence of a higher power and felt comfortable in that. There have been very few times when I totally shunned the presence of some sort of God. But that time is now.

There cannot be a God that allows criminals to win while law abiding citizens lose.

I dont know how much of this story I have told but I will be brief because the excrutiating details are too hard to go into.

We opened a girls sporting goods store. From scratch. We rented a store in a busy shopping center, we ordered all the inventory, we bought all the racks and shelves and the cash register. We did it all. The store was successful but after a short time the tragedies in my family overtook my enthusiasm for the store and I just couldnt keep dividing my time between running the store and taking care of the people that needed me.

We were going out of business when a con man who we sort of knew came in and offered us money for the store. He played us when we were in the middle of such tremendous grief that we werent paying attention. He stole everything we had and planned to take advantage of us in such a way that it would make you sick if I outlined the exact way in which he did this. His name is Michael Gongas and if you ever come across him, run for your life. He is a professional con man who stole Sportsjust4girls from me and now he has gotten away with it.

We have been sueing him for the money he never paid for the store since 2005. I have paid my lawyer over 8000 dollars and owe him 18000 more. The judge ruled against us because in my deposition I said I handed him the inventory list and in my affadavit I said I left it on the counter. And he says that he never got the inventory list and that there was no inventory.

Blah Blah Blah the story is endless. the pain is eternal. The dissapointment almost debillitating.

I just have this unending feeling of unfairness. Of course you are hearing my side and of course he has a side. His side comes from being a con artist though. He has the store in his possession, always has since 2005. He used my credit card to buy socks, 800 dollars worth of socks. He ran up the electric bill and other bills and left them in my name.

and he never paid us for the store. and the judge thought the whole case hinged on the fact that I said one thing 3 years ago and I said another a few months ago.

Motion for Summary Judgement:DENIED

He stole a whole store. He entered into a contract to purchase a business from me and never paid for it. and the judge looked at hundreds of papers of information and thought the whole point rested on the fact that I said two different things.

and that is what is wrong with this country. the whole legal system completely protects the criminals. How else can you explain this? How can there be a legal system that looks at the fact that he still owns the store, runs it everyday and makes money.

I always have wanted to believe in a GOD. I tried when all the terrible things in my life were replaced with more terrible things. I had moments when I thought I understood that things happen for a reason. I know I was never destined to have money, but that doesnt have anything to do with being taken advantage of. With someone stealing from you. Your lifes savings and then some. The loss has cost me over 200,000 dollars. It will be with me until the day I die.

Where is the justice in this? Why are criminals protected? Mike Gongas has hundreds of thousands of dollars in judgements against him from other people he has conned and the law protects him. He has a wife and daughter and son who watch him be a dirtbag and look the other way. He has assaulted people on at least 3 occassions that I know of.

where is god in all this? Where does he hide? Why does light shine on Mike Gongas, a man who makes Satan look like Mrs. Cleaver. Mike Gongas weighs over 300 lbs. Is Jesus carrying him?

It was then that I carried you. Fuck you Jesus. Seriously. this is one time too many you have fucked with me and my family. and there is no doubt in my mind that if you do exist it is only to completely screw up what is left of this disgusting excuse for a world in which we live in.

I dont need you to carry me into the gates of hell with you. I need you to step aside.

I walk alone... and I always will.

Dreams, Signs and Psychic Ability

Okay, so first of all let me say the Y on my keyboard is sticking so when I start typing too fast to notice and there are missing Y's please forgive me. I will do my best to notice but... well you know.

So let me say that if you dont know me this whole blog is going to sound crazier than it would if you did know me. Maybe not and I am officially now not making any sense so let me just begin.

I believe in Ghosts. I believe in Dreams. I believe in Signs. And I believe that everything does happen for a reason, even if we never know the reason.

I believe in a bunch of other weird things and yes I am aware that most people are secretly thinking that I am a nut job, others not so secretly like my family.

D3 mentioned yesterday that there may be toxic fumes leaking into the basement that I work in and that is what is responsible for the craziness and yes that does include you Ellen. It may have come after I told her the breastfeeding conversation of yesterday. hahahaha

Ok so to the point... yes I am getting there, slowly I know but you know me I have to build it up.

A few weeks ago someone I work with had excruciating back pain one day and the next day I had it. No big deal right. I frequently have trouble with sciatica and it always acts up when I get cramps so no big deal.

Next a few days later I wake up out of the blue with a pain in my left knee. D4 has been on crutches since january with an injured left knee. I swear I thought I had taken her pain away, but hers was still there. the pain in my left knee has come and gone but hers is now gone. hmmm see what is happening here.

D3 had serious pain in her neck and left arm. This is similar to the pain I had before my surgery. The only thing that could relieve it was pulling her arm. I had the same thing but since my surgery, all over. Well I did move some doors around in my house so I did have a reason, but the pain in my neck was so bad the other night I thought I would throw up. Gone now.

So meanwhile, my little doggie has been sick and has a liver issue. Yeah well a few days ago I wake up and the whites of my eyes are yellow. D3 and D4 confirmed this so I am not making this up. Both of them said seperately What are you having sympathy pains for Clover now?

So I seem to be having sympathy pains for people who are hurting in my life. What does this mean? Have I become some sort of modern day Jesus? Am I actually taken their pain away or am I just feeling their pain so I can easily understand what they are going through?

One time after my brother in law died I woke up and felt what my sister in law felt when she woke up everyday. It was an overwhelming feeling of sadness that I could never describe to anyone unless they have gone through it.

there was a movie called powder that I think I may have mentioned before that shows how this weird kid powder held on to a dying deer and held onto to the hunter that shot him so the shooter could feel what the deer felt. Scared, lonely. It made a huge impact on me.

I dont know what I am supposed to do with this new found superpower. Is it my chance to help people? Is it to make me more sympathetic towards peoples pain because I feel like I already am pretty sympathetic. I constantly reevaluate my life and look at the signs. Sometimes though we get so caught up in our day to day life that we miss them.

D3 is always running late in the morning. And just when I think she is finally ready, she says I have to brush my teeth. No matter what she always leaves this to the last minute and it drives me nuts.

Except on more than one occasion we have missed an accident by just the amount of time it took her to brush her teeth while I was outside in the car freaking out.

Like today... I was waiting in the car and then I pulled out into the street and i was fairly calm for me anyway.

We drive to school and just a block away from school, not far from where D1 got in a car accident last year, are two of D3's friends on the side of the road, cars smashed, accident just happened.

It couldnt have happened more than 3-4 minutes before, just the amount of time it took to brush her teeth.

so maybe part of this lesson is dont freak out when you miss the bus, or the T, or the metro. Or miss a class all together. Or there is someone in front of you that is driving really slow and you want to take out your invisible gun and shoot them. Maybe there is a reason. Maybe you are always where you are supposed to be. Maybe when you run back in the house to get your bag that you forgot and you think Hot Dang i am going to be late, maybe you are being saved from something that you didnt even know.

there is a movie I think called sliding doors where I think it was Gwenyth Paltrow, misses the train as the doors close on her. Then the whole movie shows how different her life is just by the one moment. It goes back and forth from what happened if she made the train to what happened when she missed it. Do you meet the love of your life on the next train or do you make the train and get home in time to catch your spouse cheating on you?

You can go crazy thinking of the what ifs but really is it all completely out of our control? I dont believe that your whole life is already mapped out. I do believe we have control over choices we make and that is why we need to learn from every single situation we are in. We need to take something away from each experience even if its Crap, i never want to do that again.

We need to constantly look at the direction that we are heading and say is this what I want for myself?

I have reinvented myself many times when I wasnt happy with where I stood. I wanted a happy marriage and everyday I work to make that come true. Hubby and I are more in love today than we were 24 years ago, wow almost 25 this summer. but everyday we do special things for each other and respect each other. and when we get busy and a little off the track I show up at his office and whisk him away for a few hours so he can vent and I can listen and we are just enjoying each others company.

I loved being a stay at home mom. I wish i could still do it. And I love my job mostly because I love my bosses, they are totally cool, extremely generous and give me the flexibility I need to take care of myself and my family. But I always wanted to go to college so now I am doing that and maybe someday I will change careers, a long time from now when I graduate in like 4 years or maybe I will be mailing out bears with a masters degree in genetics. whatever.

My point is that it is not certain what your life is. It is not set in stone. One mistake today does not change your life permanently. It constantly changes. You constantly have the chance to look and say hey this isnt what i wanted for myself.

So I dreamed last night I ran away with Kid Rock. And D1 dreamt Hubby lost his job. and D3 dreamed that D2 was missing in Spain.

I know these arent true signs. I know these are metaphors for things. I know that recently I have wished that Hubby and I were 16 again and gazing lovingly into each others eyes instead of figuring out how we are gonna pay the american express bill.

Kid Rock is the way out of all my responsibility.

And hubby has been stressed out at work. D1 is sensing his aggravation at work and his disgust with alot of what is going on there.

and D3 is always worried about everyone because her life has always been making sure others are happy. From the time she was 5 weeks old and hubby was diagnosed with cancer, she would come to sloan kettering with us and just talk and giggle and for a time those cancer stricken people could just be warmed by her joy.

These are signs of something, but not literal.

D1 has psychic ability. Many people have told her that. She has always fought it but now she is channeling it a little and learning its uses.

Can you sense that we are winning the lottery please D1???

London Broil and Rice instead of blogging

oh darn, i wanted to blog but my family is hungry. seriously i am the only person capable of throwing a steak in the oven. did i not just cook a beautiful breakfast of eggs, bacon and sausage. did i not just make homeade popcorn with melted butter for a snack. have i not spent the day paying bills with invisible money and dealing with all the correspondance on the earth.

holy crap,,, a moms work is never done...

i hope to be back soon but this is what i have to do this week... 4 chapters of chemistry, large quantities of cheyenne, a paper on one of the memoirs i read, and draw a picture from the pictures D3 and boyfriend took at montauk.

humph... i am sorry dear readers i will return shortly.