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Friday, October 31, 2008

Disturbing News Stories of the Day

My plan was to quickly blog last night so I could study biology today, BUT.....

Last nights blog was so random and pointless I felt the need to redeem myself.

(look I cant be funny ALL the time, this week was a very unfunny kind of week)

And how can I study when I have these disturbing news stories on my mind...

Story #1... and feel free to play along with one of my favorite games "which story is most disturbing"

A man in North Carolina found a mouse baked into his Arnold Hot Dog Buns that he bought from BJs wholesale club. He called Arnold who told him to send the rolls back and dont go telling no media folk about this. just send the mickey rolls back and no one will get hurt. Oh except the mouse but he is already in that big mouse trap in the sky.

So... getting right on that "sending back the rolls thing" he calls NBC news. Here was his argument of why he didnt send the rolls back like they asked. "Mice dont travel in isolation, he probably had some mouse friends and where are the now, baked into some hamburger buns or the low carb arnold bread I always buy from BJs."

Now I dont think I have blogged about it often but I have rodent issues. Lots of them. In every house I have ever lived in we have been visited by little pooping creatures in the night. And it is not because we are dirty people...it is that every house I have lived in has been a fixer upper with cracks all over and we couldnt fix them until we found where they were coming from. We did have one terrifying incident with a rat who pretty much walked in the front door of the garage and ... well lets just say the story is of a rat, underwear and chocolate and that is all i will say until i blog about it another time.

They showed the hotdog rolls, with the mouse baked in over and over this morning on the news. I was literally gagging. I have tried to locate a picture but I havent been able to find one yet. If i do, look for it on future blogs because it is a sick sight and everyone should see it.

Story #2...The guy that killed his wife and then made up the most ridiculous story about it. So he comes home from a trip to Vegas and she is pissed. What wife wouldnt be? and she freaks out a little and he chokes her to death...this seems to be a theme this week with crazy men killing their wives and other family members like with Jennifer Hudsons family and the guy in Center Moriches who decided he was gay at 43 years old after being married and having a few kids. He tells his wife, she wants a divorce, shocking I know, and he thinks, well, I really cant picture her with someone else. So he puts cyanide in her coffee. No joke. His kids are in foster care, his wife is in a coma because he didnt even succeed in killing her thats how much of a loser this guy is and now he gets his wish to be gay, because he will spending a lot of time in prison trying not to drop the soap.

Back to the original killer... he chokes her after their little tiff and he keeps her body in the apartment and plans this elaborate way to cover it up. He goes to the laundrymat which he always does on Sundays, he eats at McDonalds and shops at Walmart. you want to know why he shops at Walmart? Because there are cameras there and that is how the killers usually get caught, buying a ski mask, black plastic bags and a shovel. i know you are thinking what if its cold and I just want to pick up some leaves and bury them in a hole in the yard? Buy tampons with it that will probably through them off.

He waits until dark and uses her car and drives her to dump her body to a "remote location" on the LIE. Umm not very remote you stupid moron, but really I guess rocket scientists have no need to be hiding bodies. Its not like 50,000 people drive past there on a daily basis, probably even more.

And he uses her phone to text his phone to say "Honey, my car has a flat tire, I am on the side of the road less than a mile from home, come get me, i love you" then he texts her phone back. "Be right there I love you"

Then he drives her car to the Seaford oyster Bay expressway (135 for you Long islanders) and lets the air out of her tire and goes home to wait.

Then he cries on tv and says I just want my wife back, I dont even care about the car, UMM what? I knew he did it the first time I say him speak. I predicted it when the guy in 1987 said his wife went for a walk on Christmas Eve and never came back. he got caught getting the black bags and shovel from 7-11 though. TOTALLY different story.

What is the most disturbing part of this story? The fact that he choked her to death? The fact that he created this elaborate story to cover it up? Or the fact that now his lawyer says his confession was coerced and he didnt really kill her? Yeah he just got all the facts from a CSI he just watched right? He made it all up and the real killer is still out there. Wait a second i seem to remember another story about a guy who killed his wife and said the real killer was still out there but i think there was a glove and some racists that ruined the case... hmmm

So was the guy a maniac all along or did he wake up one day and think how can i make up a crazy plan to get rid of my wife? The guy who killed Jennifer Hudsons family was the ex husband of her sister. He had been in jail for 7 years before for assault and attempted murder. Ok I dont like to have to point out the obvious here but here is some advice from me...If a man is a crazy psycho when you meet him, he will most likely be a crazy psycho again, it wasnt that his first wife drove him to it, like he will say or whatever the hell these men say that make women drawn to them, really girls stay the hell away from these maniacs, the signs are always there. The husband who killed his wife and hid her body, was a stockbroker trainee, you know what that means right? I dont have a job and I answered an ad in the Yankee Trader that said Make a Million dollars this year working from home. Code for Loser with no job.

Now some may have mentioned that my plan to run off with Kid Rock, when he realizes that what he needs is a middle aged, overweight, mother of 4 and stops dating those slutty girls like Pam Anderson, is a bit of a "bad boy addiction" that might be dangerous to me. here is my answer.

but seriously... Kid Rock tried to claim he grew up in the projects but he didnt. he grew up in an upper class lily white neighborhood in Michigan. He went to live in the projects with some ghetto friends when he was 15, but his mom used to go pick him up for his orthodontist appointments. Fakely bad boy... I love him...Bawitaba

Story #3

McCain and Palin are still running for President/Vice president of the United States. Seriously folks. this joke is not over yet? hahaha, we fooled the american public.. it was a giant "Trick" and I think today should be our treat and they should just bow down like the losers they are. I just read an article that said that McCains top advisors will be using Palin as the scapegoat when they lose. Really? they say she is a "diva" and a "whack job". No I not making this up you can read this story by going to this link...


they said she is not following the script, because apparently that is working so well for John McCain.

Well my computer is about to shut off on me because my battery sucks but feel free to rank them yourself until I come back...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

miss me miss me now you gotta kiss me

ok seriously.

i absolutely cannot blog right now.

it is D minus 4 hours until my favorite holiday and i must prepare.

i am already watching Rocky Horror Picture Show which is absolutely priceless.

being a "borderline" diabetic, halloween has been a challenge for me.

but as usual i figured out a way around it.

I dont eat any actual real food on halloween,

that way the other food doesnt interfere with the metabolism of sugar.

Just candy for breakfast lunch and dinner.

After my coffee of course.

Years ago when my blood sugar was even worse than it is now,

Hubby went to pick children up from trick or treating in the better neighborhoods. You know the ones that give FULL size candy bars out?

And i sat with D#4 and ate an entire bowl of candy while he was gone.

Needless to say D#4 and I were both in a coma with candy wrappers strewn all over us and the couch when he returned.

and i awoke the next day with a hangover.

so in order to prepare this year...

i will eat nestle crunch bars for breakfast because they have rice krispies in them and that is the same as eating cereal

and i will eat candy corn for lunch, because corn is good for you, along with reeses peanut butter cups because there is protein in peanut butter

and then i will eat butterfingers for dinner because although butter has fat in it, fingers like chicken fingers are a decent thing to eat for dinner.

And the best news of this whole story is that I finally understand Glycolysis and in case you didnt know what that was...

glycolysis is the breakdown of a molecule of glucose

and glucose is sugar

and it breaks down to pyruvic acid and sometimes undergoes fermentation

which is just like drinking a beer

so.. think of halloween like another one of my favorite holidays

St. Patricks Day...just with the addition of glycolysis.