Stop this Moment in Time

Did you ever have a moment when you wished time would stand still and it would last forever? It has taken me so many years to appreciate those moments more because they come and go so quickly. Those moments cant be made. If you try too hard they may never happen. You just have to recognize the moment and you have to be there in the moment and feel the joy because those are the things that will stick with you forever. When you are old and the mad cow sets in, these things will come back to you like it was yesterday.

In this case, it was yesterday so its still fresh in my failing memory.

I have had those moments before but I have learned that they are few and far between.

I had one of those moments yesterday when we were driving home from Christmas Dinner at my sisters.

I was driving because Hubby had too much home made wine. We were listening to a cd I made hubby for Christmas and Journey Dont Stop Believin came on the radio.

Now the girls are squished 4 in the back of the car and it is tight and uncomfortable. D4 has ADD that makes her have to move around a lot and usually this trip is filled with yelling horrible insults like D4 why is your butt so big, and everytime D1 hiccups or burps everyone screams she's gonna blow. D3 sings loudly all the time and D2 is just always annoyed at whatever else anyone is doing.

So we are making our way home, journey comes on and everyone starts singing together. Hubby just looks at me and says, Arent you so proud?.

and it was a moment I wished could have lasted forever. We were all having fun and laughing and singing and of course I had a drum solo.

and then it was gone.

something shifted in the world and we lost the moment. Maybe the girls didnt even recognize it. For me its always when we are all together and there is talking and laughing.

Those moments come along less and less as the girls get older and they are not all together as often. And everyone has their moments of irritation at the others also.

Christmas is over for this year and the only thing left is the mounds and mounds of gifts, garbage and returns. I always feel such a let down when Christmas is over like why do we work that hard for one day. Why do we put ourselves in debt, shop endlessly and then it comes and goes so quickly.

It's because of the small moments like this one. The fleeting instances of pure joy that come when holidays bring us closer together.

I have been thinking about this blog for 2 days and just havent had time to write it and now I am not really happy with it but I am tired and hungry and think because today is my only day completely off for the rest of my life that I will go now and nap and wake up to this later.

I will because I can....

Blogger Block

I may be having blogger block. I am not sure what happened. Last week when I was working 60 hours and finishing up my paper for Cell Bio and studying for my final and trying to keep at least obvious dirt from accumulating in the front hall because D#3's boyfriend has super clean white socks....

I had a million blog ideas.

Now I am like... well... not so much.

I am still waking up at the crack of dawn but instead of blogging I am just milling aroung wasting time.

I do want to complain about the post office that apparently lost two of my packages this year. And I work in an internet store and constantly tell people that they have to contact the post office directly but now that I am in this position I just want my stuff and I want them to fix it.

How can the post office be this lame? Seriously!!! packages constantly dissapear. everyday people call and tell me that their package says it was delivered and they never got it. and now i can say the same. i ordered two really special things and both of them have not arrived. Both of them came from the edison,nj post office to mount sinai where what a shock, they have dissapeared. How do I know my mailman hasnt stolen them? Mostly because you have no recourse with the post office. UPS has a tracking number and has ways to prove you got your package. Post office... no its a wing and a prayer.

They are so lame. During our busiest week ever, the post office web site was down. first it said on their technical site recording... yes we know we are having difficulties. then it said... yeah stop calling , we are broken. Then they just disconnected their phone number and posted a message on their website that says yeah we are still experienceing difficulties and use someone else to mail your packages. It was completely ridiculous and seriously what can you do? I wanted to send a rude email but we were afraid of retaliation. True story. The post office always knows and they are coming to get you.

In your sleep... like the clown from poltergeist.

cant sleep...post office men will eat me...cant sleep... post office men will eat me.

The holidays have become so much more painful over the years. I heard of one of D4s friends who was going to Hawaii for Christmas. We cant do that though because D3 made a rule that says you can only celebrate a holiday in the correct weather season.

No Christmas in Hawaii or Fourth of July at the North Pole.

Just cold, windy, sleety rainy weather for Christmas. and boiling in your face suffocating heat as we celebrate our countries birth.

I happen to be a celebrater. Have you ever encountered one of them before? I celebrate everything. I used to celebrate more when my kids were little and I had the ______________fill in the blank, time, energy, money, creativity, mind powers.

But I still believe in the celebration and let me tell you why.

Celebrations are fun. They have food. They have people. And even if those people annoy the crap out of you...You have a blog story. so you see. It's all good.

Celebrations are to recognize how special you are to me.

And without getting too morbid or creeper...you never know how many you have. For serious. Life changes in a split second. And its too late once... well its too late.

You dont have the chance to celebrate the last Christmas or Chanukah or the last celebration of your first date or your wedding.

Those days are special because something different happened on that day. You have heard me talk before about Groundhog Day. For the most part the days are the same. "You wake up and time has slipped away". You get up go to school, go to work, see your peeps. Whatever, but not much changes. When there is a birth... or death...or holiday...or someone gets braces or glasses... right after you call them four eyes or brace face...there should be cake and laughing. There should always be laughing.

I have been accused of being a 12 year old boy. Actually yesterday I was only 8 but that is because I had my nephew to make fart jokes with. And ps he is way more mature than I am. But... laughing is what keeps you young. Fun and funny, celebrating, it takes the sting away from the humdrum world we live in with mortgages and insurance and bills and breaking toilets. It goes away during a celebration. Even just for a minute.

So July 30th 1984 is when hubby and I went on our first date to Campus Heroes. And we celebrate it every year. We eloped on December 14th 1985 and we celebrate that too. We had our wedding on September 28th 1986, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. I remember each date that I found our I was pregnant and even though there may not be a full blown celebration, there is a mention and a story.

Life is short...Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Anyone Anyone...

so in conclusion....

when there is nothing left to procrastinate, apparently I will procrastinate blogging.

The post office sucks ass. And loses packages all the time.

And life is short so... Celebrate good times.

Come on.