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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reality Dissapointment

Hi I'm Nancy and I am a reality show addict.

Ok maybe I do not know much about the Bachelor or the Real Housewives of NYC but give me the singers and the fatties and I am all over it.

Here is the problem... I do not like to be wrong. About anything. In fact I pride myself on always being right. Once I thought I might be wrong but I was mistaken.

Sooo...I choose my picks wisely and carefully. And then I sit back and wait to see them win.

I am O for 3 so far with American Idol and Survivor to go. Yeah I know the finale of Survivor was Sunday but I havent even seen it yet and no one has ruined it shockingly.

So every Tuesday for the last 16 or so weeks I have parked my big fat ass in front of the TV with a plate of brownies in one hand and the remote in the other and admired how the fatties went week to week with absolutely no chocolate. I cried with them when they gained a pound and thought yeah that would not make me go back into the gym it would make me head for the nearest ice cream store.

Hmmm maybe that is my problem.

Well anyway... for the finale, I mean it was a special occasion I had a ben and jerrys in one hand and remote in the other.

And since Ben and Jerrys is my kryptonite... I fell asleep before the finale.

So I got up in the morning and could not believe that out of the three finalists the only one I wanted to lose, won. 48 year old Helen dammit. Ok so I have quite a few problems with Helen winning. First and foremost she is a selfish mom. How could she send her daughter home and keep Bob and Jillian to herself. I mean really. That is not what moms do. They give up the last bite of cake, they take the crappy hamburgers and they let their daughter lose weight when there is an opportunity. they do not steal that away and leave their daughter fat.

And that seriously cuts into my excuses that people that age can never lose that weight because of hormones, responsibilities, and just because...

WOW... I am in McDonalds and this is a classic line...

Mother of three overweight children says to them... Wait you dont have enough sugar in your tea, go get some more. And the round tumbly kids race over to the sugar packets and load them up into their tea. They are drinking tea apparently because they are coughing and apparently have the swine flu. Remind me to wear a mask here tomorrow.

Ok back to Helen... After that many pounds have made a home on your body it doesnt want to leave. It has made friends with the other parts of your body and no matter how many times you drop it off 50 miles from your home, it finds its way back.

I am pissed she won and while she was celebrating jumping up and down with her jiggly fat almost knocking out Ali, her fat daughter is standing their like yeah mom. You did it. HELLLLLOOOOO.... that was so mean and I hate Helen for it and I am mad that Mike the adorable college student or Tara, the kickass girl from Long Island who never went below the yellow line didnt win.

Strike 1 for me.

Then the Amazing Race... So they are down to three teams. the mother with the deaf son, the Asian sister and brother and the two very unlikable cheerleaders. I wasnt as dissapointed because I wanted the Cheerleaders to lose. And they came in second. But I wanted the Mom and Son to win because they fought such a good race when they faced so many obstacles. You can tell what a good mom she was to him, like for example if he gained 400 lbs I am sure she would let him stay on the biggest loser and not keep it all for herself. HELEN. So they raced and raced and in the end he helped the team that ultimately beat them, because he is a nice boy. And she raised him nicely.

I think it was clearly a huge advantage that they went to China. If they had gone to a land where all the people were deaf the Mom and son would have won. And if they went to a land of people with lobatomies the cheerleaders could have won but probably not even.

I mean come on, they are in China trying to get a plane ticket and the sister and brother ask the ticket agent in Chinese to seat the other teams in the back of the plane. Or when they took orders for food in chinese or had to write chinese letters. It was clearly in their favor there.

Strike 2

Hells Kitchen. Yes I am aware that I am probably the only person in the world that watches it. And again I am not totally unhappy although I think Paula was totally sabatoged by Lacey that lazy pig. I liked Danny enough but I fear that long greasy blonde hair would end up in my food.

So Danny wins the big job in Bogata restaurant and Paula has to go home with her receding hairline and bad mole on her face. Sorry Paula, it was time for a white man to win. Dont you watch the show? It rotates. White man, white woman, black man, white woman, it wasnt time ... try next season.

So I havent watched Survivor yet but I want to go on the record and say that I want Taj to win. Ok maybe she doesnt need the money but she has played a kickass game and lets face it we cannot let the redneck JT win. It just wouldnt look good for someone that dumb to beat out all these smarter people.

Here is the problem with all this... These shows are starting to get seriously boring. Enough of eating bugs, enough of trying to remember all the events of the race, enough watching 2 tonners puking their guts up.

It is getting old. Even American Idol was so boring last night.

I mean of course anytime I can see Adam on stage in tight pants and all that guyliner and black nail polish is a good night for me but... its just the same.

I have heard rumors that he might be gay but I refuse to believe it. He is so hot and so sexy that cant all be wasted. it would be such a shame if that was all wasted on other boys.

I guess he would be the first gay american idol. (hahaha) oh i crack myself up. ummm taylor hicks anyone....

but really I am adding him to my list of ...if he showed up at my doorstep and asked me to leave with him i would...

that list is getting kind of long... i hope hubby doesnt mind... i mean brad pitt, kid rock, adam lambert, the guy i saw at the bus stop yesterday with the tattooed face and the piercings....its just a fact. Every girl needs a list of people that she would leave her family for.

just dont make it the guy who always hits on you from Walmart or anything... keep it real... you know mostly unlikely but possible...a fantasy...

Me and Adam Lambert shopping at Hot Topic for clothes and makeup, skipping off into the moonlight with our glitter purple eyeshadow... I probably have more of a chance if he doesnt win Idol.

But then I would be wrong again.

And I dont like that.

Good thing it doesnt happen too often.

I should probably stop predicting reality shows and stick to the weather.

My boobs tell me their is a good chance it is raining right now.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Pride...In the name of Love

There are moments in a parents life when the pride they feel for their child is so big, it feels like your heart might burst. There is no other feeling like this. I remember feeling so proud of my kids at one point and not really being able to name the feeling. Then I realized...


Being a parent is hard. If it isnt hard you arent doing it right. It takes hours and days and months and years of selfless effort that is largely unrewarded.

Children are inherent takers. It is their job to learn about life and they do this by testing the waters on all accounts.

They push you and test your patience and you start to crack but you hold on because there are moments, moments that make it all worthwhile.


You build a family in hopes that some day you can sit back and enjoy the people you have helped create. You create an environment where children can grow into successful adults. You try to minimize the hurt they have to deal with along the way and sometimes you succeed.

Sometimes you dont.

The pains of exeriences are yours alone. No one can take away what life is going to throw at you.

It is the people you surround yourself with that allow you to grow into the person you do want to be. Your family will always be there but your friends are just as important.

They come into your life at certain times for certain reasons and they are part of the learning process.

Watching yesterday after graduation as these beautiful smart incredibly talented (shall I go on) group of girls tearfully said goodbye to each other was hard.

Being a parent always is.

I wished we could bring the life they have built in Boston home with us so it didnt have to end. I wish I could assure them that friendships are indefinite and they would still see each other all the the time.

That would be the easy thing to do.

Instead we comforted D1 as we left behind a world that she has been a part of for the last 4 years. A world that she didnt always love but has learned to be a part of just the same.

She grew when she was gone. She experienced things only being away from home can teach you. She made bonds with people that she loved.

And yesterday as I watched her say goodbye, it broke my heart, but at the same time that feeling again.


She made it through 4 years of college, through family tragedies no child should ever deal with. She made it through countless illnesses and moments of time when she thought all she wanted to do was come home.

She built friendships with people so different from herself and learned about life somtimes through things that I wished she never had to go through.

I am proud in a way that makes my heart feel like it will explode. I sat and listened to speeches that talked about change and diversity and the "Wii" generation (pun intended) and I thought about all the moments that led up to this event.

Nothing any speaker could say could ever fully encapsulate what has brought each of these kids to this day.

And no amount of words could ever detail the feeling of pride, the feeling of respect and love you feel for your child as they now head out into an uncertain world.

Pride. A feeling like no other. It balloons in you as you look over the work you have put in to see the product that developed.

I am so proud of not what D1 has done but the person she became in the process. She held true to herself and she made her own path.

And now she will take that and go on to the next phase of her life.

And someday she may know how we feel today.

But pride is something that I think may be exclusive to adults. Children can be proud of themselves and they should be.

But the feeling you get as your child moves through a difficult stage or goes on to the next part of their life and the feelings you get when you see how much they have done, despite adversity....

Pride.... in the name of love.

My heart swells with it today.