Reality Dissapointment

Hi I'm Nancy and I am a reality show addict.

Ok maybe I do not know much about the Bachelor or the Real Housewives of NYC but give me the singers and the fatties and I am all over it.

Here is the problem... I do not like to be wrong. About anything. In fact I pride myself on always being right. Once I thought I might be wrong but I was mistaken.

Sooo...I choose my picks wisely and carefully. And then I sit back and wait to see them win.

I am O for 3 so far with American Idol and Survivor to go. Yeah I know the finale of Survivor was Sunday but I havent even seen it yet and no one has ruined it shockingly.


So every Tuesday for the last 16 or so weeks I have parked my big fat ass in front of the TV with a plate of brownies in one hand and the remote in the other and admired how the fatties went week to week with absolutely no chocolate. I cried with them when they gained a pound and thought yeah that would not make me go back into the gym it would make me head for the nearest ice cream store.

Hmmm maybe that is my problem.

Well anyway... for the finale, I mean it was a special occasion I had a ben and jerrys in one hand and remote in the other.

And since Ben and Jerrys is my kryptonite... I fell asleep before the finale.

So I got up in the morning and could not believe that out of the three finalists the only one I wanted to lose, won. 48 year old Helen dammit. Ok so I have quite a few problems with Helen winning. First and foremost she is a selfish mom. How could she send her daughter home and keep Bob and Jillian to herself. I mean really. That is not what moms do. They give up the last bite of cake, they take the crappy hamburgers and they let their daughter lose weight when there is an opportunity. they do not steal that away and leave their daughter fat.

And that seriously cuts into my excuses that people that age can never lose that weight because of hormones, responsibilities, and just because...

WOW... I am in McDonalds and this is a classic line...

Mother of three overweight children says to them... Wait you dont have enough sugar in your tea, go get some more. And the round tumbly kids race over to the sugar packets and load them up into their tea. They are drinking tea apparently because they are coughing and apparently have the swine flu. Remind me to wear a mask here tomorrow.

Ok back to Helen... After that many pounds have made a home on your body it doesnt want to leave. It has made friends with the other parts of your body and no matter how many times you drop it off 50 miles from your home, it finds its way back.

I am pissed she won and while she was celebrating jumping up and down with her jiggly fat almost knocking out Ali, her fat daughter is standing their like yeah mom. You did it. HELLLLLOOOOO.... that was so mean and I hate Helen for it and I am mad that Mike the adorable college student or Tara, the kickass girl from Long Island who never went below the yellow line didnt win.

Strike 1 for me.

Then the Amazing Race... So they are down to three teams. the mother with the deaf son, the Asian sister and brother and the two very unlikable cheerleaders. I wasnt as dissapointed because I wanted the Cheerleaders to lose. And they came in second. But I wanted the Mom and Son to win because they fought such a good race when they faced so many obstacles. You can tell what a good mom she was to him, like for example if he gained 400 lbs I am sure she would let him stay on the biggest loser and not keep it all for herself. HELEN. So they raced and raced and in the end he helped the team that ultimately beat them, because he is a nice boy. And she raised him nicely.

I think it was clearly a huge advantage that they went to China. If they had gone to a land where all the people were deaf the Mom and son would have won. And if they went to a land of people with lobatomies the cheerleaders could have won but probably not even.

I mean come on, they are in China trying to get a plane ticket and the sister and brother ask the ticket agent in Chinese to seat the other teams in the back of the plane. Or when they took orders for food in chinese or had to write chinese letters. It was clearly in their favor there.

Strike 2

Hells Kitchen. Yes I am aware that I am probably the only person in the world that watches it. And again I am not totally unhappy although I think Paula was totally sabatoged by Lacey that lazy pig. I liked Danny enough but I fear that long greasy blonde hair would end up in my food.

So Danny wins the big job in Bogata restaurant and Paula has to go home with her receding hairline and bad mole on her face. Sorry Paula, it was time for a white man to win. Dont you watch the show? It rotates. White man, white woman, black man, white woman, it wasnt time ... try next season.

So I havent watched Survivor yet but I want to go on the record and say that I want Taj to win. Ok maybe she doesnt need the money but she has played a kickass game and lets face it we cannot let the redneck JT win. It just wouldnt look good for someone that dumb to beat out all these smarter people.

Here is the problem with all this... These shows are starting to get seriously boring. Enough of eating bugs, enough of trying to remember all the events of the race, enough watching 2 tonners puking their guts up.

It is getting old. Even American Idol was so boring last night.

I mean of course anytime I can see Adam on stage in tight pants and all that guyliner and black nail polish is a good night for me but... its just the same.

I have heard rumors that he might be gay but I refuse to believe it. He is so hot and so sexy that cant all be wasted. it would be such a shame if that was all wasted on other boys.

I guess he would be the first gay american idol. (hahaha) oh i crack myself up. ummm taylor hicks anyone....

but really I am adding him to my list of ...if he showed up at my doorstep and asked me to leave with him i would...

that list is getting kind of long... i hope hubby doesnt mind... i mean brad pitt, kid rock, adam lambert, the guy i saw at the bus stop yesterday with the tattooed face and the piercings....its just a fact. Every girl needs a list of people that she would leave her family for.

just dont make it the guy who always hits on you from Walmart or anything... keep it real... you know mostly unlikely but possible...a fantasy...

Me and Adam Lambert shopping at Hot Topic for clothes and makeup, skipping off into the moonlight with our glitter purple eyeshadow... I probably have more of a chance if he doesnt win Idol.

But then I would be wrong again.

And I dont like that.

Good thing it doesnt happen too often.

I should probably stop predicting reality shows and stick to the weather.

My boobs tell me their is a good chance it is raining right now.