It's A Girl February 1995

I saved the best for last.

I hope that line makes up for the fact that I have like 40 posts before I told the story of her birth.

She has been boycotting reading my blog until I wrote it. With that and someone else threatening to boycott if I tell certain stories, I am fearful that my following of like 4 people may be in jeapordy.

So I will tell this story and keep silent on others but just wait for my book... it will all be in there.

In 1994, I was living in a two bedroom condo with 3 daughters, ages 7,6 and 1, a dog, a life, a mortgage, a cancer free husband, a ton of medical bills and very little space.

It was only logical that we decided to have another baby.

We always wanted 6 kids, we never knew how long we had together, (thanks a lot Synovial Sarcoma)we went on with our life as if tomorrow was here and we began our fourth attempt to have a child.

It took about 4 seconds until I found out I was pregnant.

A few days before Fathers Day in June of 1994 I found out we would be having our new bundle of joy due on Hubbys birthday.

So on Fathers Day, I gave him a birthday card which totally confused him and it said, an early birthday present that you can enjoy for 9 months.

Of course this was sarcasm based on the fact that I had spent 2 of the other 3 pregnancys puking everything I ever ate into the toilet, on hubbys shoes or in some random places across Long Island, Boston and Jacksonville.

I have to admit, I dont consider myself a high maintenance kind of girl, but I am a pretty demanding pregnant girl. I have a theory... that no man could ever understand the joy, pain and sorrow that goes into being a mom from conception to well...forever, so they should pay up during the pregnancy in lots of ways.

One of course being the delivery of lots of good snacks, anything, anytime, no questions asked and no oinking allowed.

I ate muenster cheese and pickles constantly with Daughter #1, also Taco Flavored Doritos.

I ate nectarines and hersheys kisses with D#2. I also created lots of my famous specialties of today like lemon chicken when I was pregnant with her, probably why its one of her favorite foods.

The only thing I could eat with D#3 was spicy food, which I threw up anyway but usually stayed a little longer than the rest.

But with D#4... I ate everything, in mass quantities. I think I must have secretly known that it would be my last moments of eating glory, so I did it up big time.

I felt better than with D#1 and D#3, so I cooked and ate and sent hubby out for food all the time. I remember not long before she was born eating Brownie Sundaes every night. Warm homeade brownie on the bottom, ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream...so delicious and fattening.

My doctor told me to stop, that eating for two literally meant having like an extra 500-800 calories per day.

What did he know? He was a man.

And I gained the same amount as with all the other girls... 50 lbs. Whether I threw up every meal or ate brownies every night, it didnt matter. 50 lbs, 4 times, same story.

Now even though I had gained the same amount with each kid and they were relatively the same size when they were born, I knew this wasnt the case here.

I felt her from my neck to my knees. No kidding, this baby was going to be way bigger than the rest.

By 6 months I could barely walk, I felt like she was going to fall out.

And she kicked like a linebacker.

The week of my due date, the doctor was like... you are 4 centimeters dilated already, which is a lot, and it may be quick because it is number 4 so come back in two days and we will make a date to induce you. We dont want you to be in the mall and your water breaks and the baby pops out.

I dont know, would I get a lifetime shopping discount... should I name her Macys or J Crew?

So I come back on February 15th totally planning on going to the hospital and he is like... oh the baby shifted, blah, blah, blah lets wait until Friday...Hubbys
29th birthday.

Major dissapointment when you are about to explode and send an alien like creature through your stomach...

I go home saddened but looking forward to another brownie sundae...

Doctor Idiot (as I refer to him now) says he will call me Friday morning and I will have the baby then because lets face it, I might interfere with his weekend otherwise.

Thursday around noon (and thats 12 for anyone who isnt sure what time noon is)he calls me...Hey Nancy... what are you doing.. oh nothing with a mouth full of brownie sundae... why dont you come in and have the baby now?

For Real???

Yeah for real!!

Oh I get it... I can have the baby and go home by Friday (in those days you left quick) and then you have a free weekend.

I try to beep hubby. Still no cell phones back then, I mean they probably existed but not in our world. No return, beep again, and again and again.

I knew he was working across the street from our house so I grab D#3, who is barefoot and probably still in her pjs and we get in the car and head over to Genovese.

I walk in and the guys he is working with, installing signs, take one look at me and are like, holy crap, you are in labor, Hubby Hubby, they scream, Nancy is here and she is having the baby.

Relax, men can be so irrational around large pregnant women with barefoot toddlers and chocolate smeared on their faces...

No my doctor is lazy and wants the weekend off.

Whew...

I call my mother who says she will come and watch D#3 and wait for D#1 and D#2 to get off the bus.

We head to the hospital without being in labor. It was kind of strange.No running in with my shoes on giving birth in the hallway, no 39 hour labor, no going to the hospital only to be sent home...

When we get to the hospital the nurses are like oh have you been in labor for awhile, Um NO...Water break... Nope... any probems... none my doctor just told me to meet him here.

Apparently that is not good Gynecologist behavior to induce someone for no reason at all. They were not happy. apparently there were many people who REALLY needed to have the baby that day... so many laboring women that there were people on beds in the hallway... everywhere... it was like a pregnant women farm.

Now it just so happened that I had a friend who was a nurse, who had a friend who was an anethesiologist who worked at STony Brook. We see him in the hall and he is like why are you in the hallway.

No beds... too many babies being born today... maybe its a full moon.

A few minutes later.... Mrs. Hubbys Last Name... we have a room for you... the birthing room...

Ok for anyone older or younger who doesnt know what that is...This birthing room thing was a great idea invented in the 80s so that hospitals dont look like hospitals,,, they look like bedrooms...

It was a scam really because when your pelvic bone needs to seperate to 10cm, you dont really give a crap about what color the curtains are.

It was highly desirable at the time to GET the birthing room. First come, first serve. And you could be in labor, delivery and recovery in there. A true one stop shop for baby.

But it was 4pm on a Thursday with people in the hallway,,, why was it empty??

It wasnt... but it was a first time mother in there and my friend of a friend, the anethesiologist, had her removed to the hallway.

Oh the joys of nepitism...it works for me.

They started inducing me at around 5:30pm. They hooked up the IV, and sent drugs into my body to make Daughter #4 come out.

Now before I go on with the story, lets just think about what I just said...they rip the baby out before it is ready...what kind of a attitude do you think you are going to find after you have disturbed the delicate balance of birth???

Yes exactly!

Now the beauty of being induced is that they hook up the epidural around the same time as the drugs because they CLAIM the contractions will be faster and stronger, just like a speeding bullet.

It was a Thursday night in the 90s, it was Seinfeld night and eventually ER, Now I see the joy of the Birthing Room, just like being in my own room watching the famous Thursday night lineup.

Except for the fact that every 2 seconds someone comes in and examines me and says, oh do you mind if medical student so and so examines you, or intern whoever, or tom the janitor...

I love the research aspect of Stony Brook and the teaching opportunities,,, in theory...not when I am about to give birth to a small T-REX.

After a half an hour or so of pushing,,,Ta Da,,,Its a girl,,,

My doctor(and now you will see why I call him Dr. Idiot)says two of the stupidest things I have ever heard(and I have heard some stupid crap in my life)...

First he says "Holy Crap, I think this is a ten pounder" which she wasnt but she was a heavy load...

And then he says "Oh another girl, dont worry you'll try again and have a boy next time, just wear your shoes during conception" And he didnt say it that nicely...I have changed the wording to protect the little ears that will be reading this...oh I guess that would be little eyes...anyway...he was vulgar...

I may have mentioned this once or twice...I never really wanted a boy...Maybe with D#1 I thought I wanted a boy because I never had an older brother... but after that... nope four girl suited me JUST FINE...

I was in my room upstairs by 11ish. She was born at 9:55pm on a Thursday.

I was home by 7:30pm on Friday. No joke..
Being a seasoned mother I was happy to go but some of the new moms were totally unprepared.

I believe they reimplemented a mandatory 48 hour rule for new moms. Good Idea...

Like I said... I was a very experienced mom of 3 already...so I came home put her bed and planned on getting some sleep.

WRONG... she woke up every hour to eat. WOW this is wierd... maybe in the hospital they stalled the babies but not even D#2 was this hungry and she never slept either.

Well to make a very long blog a little shorter...

She never slept... not ever... she ate every second she could be eating...She was 8 lbs 11 1/2 ounces when she was born and 21 1/2 inches. By ten days old she was 10lbs and 22 inches.

By two years old she was taller than D#3.When we tried to take stuff away from her she would hold it over her head, even when she was only 34 inches tall...she knew someday she would be able to do that and we wouldnt be able to get it.

Now she is taller than us all, including Hubby. 5 ft 9 1/2inches and still growing like a weed. Actually like a sunflower...

because although there were moments in her life when I would have sold her for a sack of beans...I wouldnt trade her for the world now...

She was a hungry baby that didnt sleep. As a toddler she spent so many times in the emergency room, they wanted to call child protective services on me.As a kid in elementary school, she began to shine as a warm loving person that would help anyone who needed her.

2008...13 years old when other kids are going bad...talking fresh... behaving poorly...hanging out with a bad crowd...not D#4...

No she is in Peer leadership where she helps other kids solve their conflicts...she is in student council and works hard to make the school a better place...she plays tennis, volleyball, basketball(for the school and a travel team)and runs track...she is in all honors classes...

She is always chosen to give tours to new kids or help parents find their way on open school night...last year she was on the committee to design the new student organizer...captain of the rely for life team to raise money for cancer...all chosen by the principal...

D#4 is tall and beautiful...watch out Mr.J and Tyra...Americas Next Top Model, we are waiting until she turns 18...

she is smart and funny... and loving.... so loving and caring it can bring tears to your eyes...

If I sound like I am bragging I am... because I spent a lot of years complaining to anyone who would listen...

And I almost gave up... more than once...I wanted to sell her on the black market but I knew it would be like the Randsom of Red chief... where they steal the kid but he is so bad they bring him back...

She drove me nuts... literally... I wonder why there are no pictures from 1995 or the few years after... I was too busy banging my head against the wall, murmuring incoherently...

And there are times when that spark of evil comes back into her eyes... like at Outback when she blows the straw into Hubbys face or when I tell her to stop sticking her fingers in the sour cream and she does it just one more time...

But I see her wings also, peaking out from under her pink hair and I know she is an angel, sent to keep us on our toes and to always remember that there is more than one way to look at things...she may tower above us but she bends her knees and hugs you tight and sees the world through beautiful blue eyes that are always looking to make this world a better place...

she has made ours that way just for being here...






side note...not sure if you can tell in this picture but the morning of her Bat Mitzvah, we were so happy that she had made it with no broken bones, teeth or concussions...minutes before she is about to get dressed we are all sitting in my bed and she comes in holding her head... i hit my head on the medicine cabinet she says...hahaha we laugh, until she moves her hand away...

Hubby I say... does that need stitches...

just another day in the life of my sassy lou.