Ok so its no secret if you live with me that I have been less than content with the fact that no one reads my blog. Even my family who once pretended to find it interesting is just getting bored of the same old stuff I have to say.
Granted they have heard these stories multiple times or that I am constantly droning on about something at every moment but I still feel sad that I am not the interesting person I thought I was.
So today I am about to sit down and try again to do my homework which pretty much means Time to Blog and I saw blogs of note and thought the title was catchy, Clever Girl Goes Blog.
I started reading her blog and realize, wow, this girl has stolen my identity. I haven't read all the blogs because lets face it I do have some sort of a life, or really I just promised my family my famous chicken parm, but what I have read, scary.
I mean OK I don't really love cats, in fact when I see a dead one I am like Woohoo one less cat in the world and I haven't been divorced because... well I just still love my husband, but her love of 80's movies, yeah that's dead on.
Now I do realize that alerting people to her blog will make them stop reading my blog but then I remembered that no one is reading my blog anyway so its really fine.
I did really identify with her being two different people, the blogger and the not so blogger. Problem for me... I have great stories, from work, from family, from things I overhear all the time... and yeah I am a little bit of a creepy stalker that way.
I have been known to stay quiet hiding behind my backyard tree, real stealth like, to overhear the neighbors across the street talk about their son in rehab. Or to gaze out my dining room window as I pretend to clean them in order to see what the newlyweds are fighting about or why they don't even seem to like each other.
But I worry that the stories will hurt other peoples feelings or that someone reading them will think I am more nuts than I really am.
Like wishing cats dead or relating all my life experiences to a song.
So her blog is about her life and her thoughts and it is really good.
And I know I have a lot of interesting thoughts too. And while I was eating the best chicken parm I have ever made I came upon a realization about why my blog is not as exciting as some others I have read.
I am a mother. That's why. Everything I say and do comes under scrutiny of the most critical eyes in the world. My children. I have read blogs about sex, drugs and rock and roll along with opinions on gay marriage and other hot political topics and I realize... my kids would be horrified if I gave out this much information about our lives, their lives, etc etc.
I have incredibly amazing stories about Hubby and I over the years, how our love has changed and grown and how still after all these years he looks at me like he did when we were 18 and newly in love. In his eyes, the years of fat and grey hair and wrinkles and wear and tear melt away and I am standing there with my Madonna fingerless lace gloves and lace headband with my red pumps and my rabbit fur coat arriving for our secret honeymoon in Disney world.
Some of these stories are sharable some of them can only be told in the cone of silence that I will refer to as the basement, where since Mario left, there are no topics that are off limits.
I have stories of my mothering, things I am proud of, things I am horrified about, that can never be spoken of in a public forum for fear my kids would use it against me at a later date. Remember that time you forgot D3 at gymnastics? 3 times?
Friends and family that have disappointed me so greatly that the stories are tragic and heart wrenching, but again, there are kids involved and that wouldn't be fair to them. You can read that on another blog Silhouette of Hope.
So for now I guess my blog will have to go on being unread, a little boring and mostly admired by only me when I forget what I have written about and amuse myself with my own stories.
Thats the great thing about losing your mind. Everything that was old seems new again.
Hey maybe I will start a blog.
haha
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Someone stole my identity
Posted by Nancy at 5:19 PM
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