What makes a man husband worthy?

Really? You dont know what makes a man husband worthy? I have my rules and I have tried to brainwash my daughters into my way of thinking. For the most part I think they have listened, but I will never know for sure until they make the ultimate decision to choose a prince.

so my first rule is this...treat you like a princess. I know I have said this before but hubby has always treated me like a princess. always... even after last weeks unfortunate incident when I ran him over with his own car. and I was really sorry but he still loves me. Although I think it was touch and go for a minute. He said that was one of the only times he has ever been mad at me. Go figure... not the time I dyed all his Navy uniforms pink because I thought the white load meant all underwear and socks. I didnt realize that it meant the color white clothes. We could barely afford ten cent macaroni and cheese and we had to buy all new uniforms because apparently pink stitching on your Navy whites is not acceptable. No joke I think that may have been the first time I ever did laundry in my life.

Or the many times I have tried to smother him in his sleep so he would stop snoring. Or how often I make fun of his heritage.And the fact that I have called him four eyes since the day I was comfortable enought to say it and for him not to leave me. Or tell him his haircut makes him look like a cancer patient. And he laughs and says yeah well I am. and we laugh about cancer, because you have to or you fall apart.

so to be considered for marriage, yeah you must always act like a prince to your princess. That means do not sit there while my daughter takes out the garbage or watch me bring packages in the house. I am totally not a feminist. I could clearly carry anything I wanted or tile a bathroom but if there is a man around, yeah he should do it.

Hold doors, give up your seat on buses, trains, planes anywhere where there is a woman standing and a man sitting.

Protect me from danger. this includes lurkers at bars or restaurants, going down in the middle of the night to kill dragons, vampires and murderers who have obviously snuck in past our dog when we werent looking. When a man is coming on to me in a bar, stroll by casually and kiss me in a long passionate kiss right on the lips to make sure everyone knows I am only yours.

Ok, very important one. Make sure husband material is apalled by the smashing of cake in the face of the bride/groom on the wedding. This makes me sick. If any of my kids do this at their wedding I will instantly know the marriage will end in divorce. Telltale sign.

Say bless you when I sneeze, say thank you when I hand you a napkin, say please when you want something like dinner or clean underwear. Say everyday... you are beautiful and amazing and I am not worthy, because, lets face it, you are not.

Big important one... Will your man go out at 9 pm to get you lobster, ribs, ice cream, cheeseburgers? In a snow storm? At 2 am will he get you a chocolate shake and a large fries because that is what you used to do when you were young, in love and hanging out in bars until 2 am? And you are having a small meltdown because you are middle aged, fat and yearning to be 16 again? ok it was really only 8 pm but that is just because we are old now and that is not the point anyway.

Will he always respect you, always and treat you like you deserve to be treated? With love and caring and never question your decision to not make dinner again tonight because frankly you were just too damn busy. Or playing guitar hero. Either one.

Husband material... will accept your parents but never demand that you accept his family...will sit through americas next top model, one tree hill, and john tucker must die??? will open the car door for you, pay for the date and tell you you still look beautiful even after you spill coke and a meatball hero on you.

On your anniversary will he send flowers to the restaurant so they are on your table at the place you went on your first date, or the place you got married, or just anywhere where you are having dinner that night?

Will he never call you porky pig even though he had to order half of your meal when you were pregnant because you were just too embarassed to order the bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes and an english muffin?

Ok granted some of these things would happen after the marriage but like one of my daughters now, she is asking the important questions. Will you get me lobster at 9pm, will you smash cake in my face, will you always say I look beautiful even after I spill my entire meal on me?

these are the things you need to know. Husbands dont just grow on trees. You have to train your own. You need to pick out their most annoying habits and put a lid on them. Now...before you have husbands with minds of their own, making decisions,ruining all your hard work...Train your man early... it takes time and frankly they could go rogue at any time.

Hubby and I started dating when I was 16 and he was 18. We learned about each other and I set out on the task to make him perfect, to make him husband worthy, to make him a keeper. those kinds dont come around that often. when you see one you have to scoop him up and begin your work... just remember they are like dogs, sometimes they will forget and have accidents on the carpet, but you just get them back on track and someday soon you will have your very own prince...

Like me...