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Sunday, January 18, 2009

PS I hate you


OK so last night D3 and D4 and D3's boyfriend and I decided to watch a movie. Our choices were Crash, The Wedding Singer and PS I love you. I know, I know you are thinking wow what quality choices.

So Crash is rated R and I couldnt remember exactly why so I thought maybe we shouldnt find out and really we have seen the Wedding Singer about a billion times so since PS I love you wasnt even open yet and D3's boyfriend had never seen it either we opted for that one.

The movie starts out with Hilary Swank, whom I do not really care for, married to this adorable Irish Guy with a really cute accent.

I am about to ruin the movie so if you didnt see it and want to, and I wouldnt recommend that, stop reading now. Step away from the computer.

So you get really attached to this adorable irish guy in a short time and poof, he is dead. Of a brain tumor. I dont think I have gone into too much detail about this but I was diagnosed with a brain tumor about 2 years ago and I am supposed to be having it looked at every 6 months and yeah well I got busy so its been over a year and lets say it doesnt make me happy or entertain me at all to watch someone dead of a brain tumor.

So over the next year the dead husband sends letters to her from the grave with instructions on how to live her life and ...

ok to be completely honest, me, D4 and D3's boyfriend all fell asleep watching this movie. Only D3 liked it and we took turns whispering loudly, this movie sucks and this is so boring through our sleeping stupor. I realize that it is hard for anyone to accept the opinion of someone who has slept through a majority of the movie but honestly, if the movie had not sucked so bad I wouldnt have even been sleeping through it.

The movie went on way too long and in between my sleeping on and off and pretending I wasnt I realized it was devastating. The idea that you can lose someone so quickly to a terrible illness and then for the next year he contacts you from the dead and guides you on your way through grief and moving on. In the end she meets someone new, Denny from Grays Anatomy and apparently will be hooking up with him after she realized that she does not like Harry Connick Jr who is a weird freak in this movie. It seems like this is what her husband had planned for her.

So it was boring, too long, and seriously devastating. The kids warned me not to watch it like I was a little kid avoiding a terrifying clown scene.

Mom really dont watch it D4 said. You are gonna cry.

No I wont.

Yeah mom this is sadder than the Notebook.

Oh god, nothing can be sadder than the notebook. Nothing, not ever, not no how.
Except maybe Old Yeller.

Yeah mom this is.

I dont really think it was, it could have been but it was so stupid that the sadness of it dissapeared in my complete lack of caring about anything except when the brownies would be done.

I explained the movie to Hubby and he said why you wouldnt want me to do that for you if I knew I was dying?

Of course I would I said. But dont go dying on me anytime soon because you know... not enough life insurance really.

Yeah I am not going anywhere he says.

Lets hope not because I wouldnt even have enough money to live in a cardboard box in Alphabet City.





and the reason I am going to hell is this...

all i could think of doing if i knew i was dying was getting revenge. i would spend the last days of my life writing letters all right but to all the people who have wronged me.

I would make sure that every person who ever pissed me off received a letter from me after I died with every detail of how they made my life miserable. I would say things like... and now everytime something goes wrong in your world know that it is me controlling it from the grave. On every bad day know that I am up in heaven or in purgatory, whatever moving your keys, letting air out of your tires and using your toothbrush to clean the toilets.




Yeah that is what pushes me over the edge from general lunatic to completer maniac. That is what solidifies my place in hell and prevents me from winning the lottery.

Instead of spending my last days with my loved ones I would spend my last days reliving my revenge against old boyfriends, old friends and you know maybe some family in there.

I would create an elaborate plan alright but it would all be for evil.

that is just the kind of girl I am.

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