I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Days ago I had this whole blog written in my head. It was titled Heaven just got a new angel.

It was great as my invisible head blogs always are.

But I had to... i dont know pick something... take D4 and her friend to get her nails done, take D3 to physical therapy, take D2 up to college or do laundry, cooking, cleaning, homework, etc.

So I didnt get to write it.

And now... its not coming to me as eloquently as it was before.

Jews believe in heaven but not in hell.

Convenient I say...

So I guess I believe that good people go to heaven, but what happens to bad people?

whatever not really my point right now and not really what i want to talk about.

Heaven is a place where people go when they die.

Last week a beautiful brave young woman went to heaven.

She had such a short life to live, just 27 years but she lived them in a way that brightened the lives of so many people.

She was diagnosed with s similar kind of cancer to hubby. He had synovial sarcoma, she had osteosarcoma and chandrasarcoma.

She was diagnosed in September of 2003. She was 21 years old and just graduated college. Hubby had been cancer free for 10 years at that point.

In sarcoma world the cancer comes back at 10 years, you are never totally safe.

We met her in 1990 when my sister started dating Tizzy. She was 9 years old.

She babysat for my kids and she sparkled wherever she went.

When she was diagnosed her parents threw her a huge 22nd birthday party. She was heading for a huge surgery invented by Hubbys doctor Dr. Boland from Memorial Sloan Kettering.

We knew then that Hubbys cancer had meaning. He had to have it so Dr. Boland could treat Stacie. It made sense that way. Stony Brook Hospital told her that there was nothing they could do. Dr. Boland said he had an idea and he consulted with people all over the world and they came up with the surgery.

At her party, Stacie told me, I feel lucky to have had cancer at this point in my life. I will beat it and then for the rest of my life I will appreciate all the little things. I will live my life to the fullest, I will treasure every moment.

From the first surgery in December 2003 until the last procedure just a few weeks ago every thing that could go wrong did.

She never had one moment of peace, but you would never know it.

We visited her in the hospital many times. She smiled through the agony. She would answer how are you with good how are you?

She wanted details about the kids what they were doing, how they were. She laughed and never once showed the depth of her pain and the suffering she was going through.

All the information got worse. The chemo didnt work, the cancer grew, then it spread.

We knew that the cancer would kill her but somehow we always hoped there would be a miracle.

The miracle was that she lived this long. This kind of cancer usually kills you quicker.

A few weeks ago we got the last bit of bad news... she was coming home but it was hospice. It was just a matter of weeks.

And last Wednesday, she finally slipped away in her sleep peacefully like she deserved to.

At the wake Mrs. T told me, Nancy do you know what she was wearing when they came to take her, when the angels came to take her..

The shirt D2 designed that said CANCER SUCKS.

Hubby has one, Stacie had one and D2 has one with Hubbys and Stacies initials on each sleeve.

Things are never funny at funerals. I became a comedian when hubby had cancer. A professional, not just playing one on tv.

But funerals... there arent many funny things there.

Of course except nuns.

Nuns are always funny.

so when we were driving in the funeral procession and we almost got seperated it was because the nuns were driving too fast in front of us

So i called them the flying nuns.

that was pretty funny.

Well then when we got to the chapel, no one sat in front of us or behind us and the kids were like, its because we are jews and if god striked the jews dead no one wants to be sitting next to us.

So they sat the nuns there. I guess they figure they have a free pass with the big guy upstairs, they didnt have to worry about armageddon in the chapel.

The service was stupidly religious and impersonal. Jesus suffered so should you... dont get that. lets weep for jesus. dont get that either.

So lets just say when the nuns started singing God is Good God is Good over and over in a high pitched voice, not only was I not touched, but i thought it was funny.

I cant tell you how many times my family said to me this weekend, you are going to hell.

Cant... jews dont believe in Hell.

Loophole... haha

So i am sitting in the chapel...laughing at nuns... and everyone is watching... so I put my head in my hands and try to contain it.

But the emotions in me from the whole week would not be kept in.

I thought of dead puppies, I bit my lip, D1 squeezed me, Nothing could stop my hysteria.

So... we finally get up to place a flower on stacies casket and I manage to do this safely without ridiculing any nuns.

and then D1 tripped. And I started to giggle again.

but at least I made it outside. and i huddled with my family and i told them the story, nuns singing about god in a chapel.

How funny is that?

They dont always appreciate my humor.

You are going to hell they said.

No of course I am not I said.

I dont like the heat and my hair would frizz.

Heaven got a new angel this week. She sparkles like a rainbow and she loved with every bit of her soul. She brightened my life in so many ways and the lives of so many others. She suffered so greatly, no GOD would ever allow that.

and the nuns... D4 wanted to know if they get to hook up with the priests.

No of course not, priests only like little boys, not flying nuns.

Be serious really, this is a time for grieving.

or is it a time for laughs and joking.

Stacie wouldnt have wanted it any other way...