Mistakes I have made No eraser big enough

I have made so many mistakes in my life. Actually I am making one right now. I have over 300 pages I have to read for homework yet I am sending rude emails and blogging. Yesterday I made a mistake, I went shopping instead of doing my homework. The day before more mistakes, more shopping, no homework.

Oh procrastination... a mistake I make often over and over again. Isnt that the definition of a moron, someone who does the same things over and over and expects a different result.

The mistakes I make on a daily basis are nothing compared to the catastrophic mistakes that I made that will last forever.

For instance, procrastinating is not such a big mistake but I passed it on to my children and that is a big mistake.

Oh my children... I have made such big mistakes with them, things I can never take back or change now. You know when you dont do a good job training your dog and then for the rest of its life it pees in the house or bites people, yeah those kind of mistakes.

Man I picked a bad week to give up crack.

Another huge mistake I made with the kids... I taught them to use ben and jerrys as a crutch. It used to be we saved ben and jerrys for catastrophic things like death and taxes but now we are like, oh I broke a nail its a ben and jerrys night. I have taught my kids this. When is distress reach for chocolate. I cant undo that. I can barely stop myself. D3 and I were just in 7-11 and they had a 3 lb candy bar that I was eyeing. We laughed because the other night we were talking about whether or not you get butterflies still when you see your boyfriend or husband and I said well do you get butterflies still when you see him like I get when I see that 3 lb Hershey Bar? and this morning while I was looking at it D3 was like oh my god I have never seen your eyes light up like that.

Another mistake... perhaps I have said one too many times Boys are stupid. I thought I was raising my girls to be strong independent women. I wanted them to stand on their own without any need for a boy to take care of them. I think it backfired. They are so independent that boys have become... well expendable. Is that a word? Well I mean that boys dont seem to be permanent fixtures in our house. They come and go... like.... well like Ben and Jerrys. I mean I used to love Neapolitan Dynamite. I used to make Hubby drive to multiple stores if he couldnt find it. No nothing else will do. No I cant buy chocolate fudge brownie and cherry garcia and mix them. No it is not the same thing. You have been to 3 stores already, did you try the 7-11 in MIller Place? they always have it. You havent tried there yet well then you havent tried everywhere.

Now...New York Superfudge Chunk. No I couldnt eat Neapolitan Dynamite. because Neapolitan Dynamite annoys me. Its all in my face, getting on my nerves and stuff. sometimes it has more chocolate fudge brownie and not enough cherry garcia sometimes vice versa. Whatever you know what? I just dont want it anymore. No never. I never want to see it again and if it knocks on my door I am not changing my mind. Even if it offers to change into something better it can never be New York Superfudge Chunk.Ok fine.

I have taught my girls that there are only three boys a girl can trust in her life. Ben, Jerry and her daddy. And only if her daddy is carrying a bag of Ben and Jerrys.

I have not done a good job as a mother. And as I was so busy patting myself on the back criticizing all the other mothers I didnt know until I discovered that my kids have issues. Such as obsessive compulsively trying to get paint spots off the floor, (how did that happen because I could care less) Oh I can blame hubby for that. Or being so irrestible that multiple people stalk them. Oh wait hubby again. Being so competitive in sports and games that they plan revenge on people from one game to the next. Hmmmm hubby again. Being a serious partier and being the life of the party. Yeah not me again.

Ok wait. This is all hubbys fault. I cant believe I have been taking responsibility for these mistakes. They arent mine, they are all genetic traits of hubby and his family.

Oh thank god I am still perfect and yea Boys are still stupid.