i'm gonna obsess about this for just one more blog...I promise

I dont know why I cant stop talking about this. My friend and I have a rule about obsessing and you are only allowed to do it for one day. We rant and rave and bring every conversation back to what we are obsessing about and then we are done.

I havent thought about my trip to Reno in quite some time. Maybe that is why I havent been able to finish the blog, or stop obsessing about it.

I guess I have successfully to this point blocked it out. It has taken awhile and now its back. Maybe putting it on paper (blog) will get it out of my system. Maybe not.

So Tizzy is broken. Bad. We bring him back to NY and he is basically institutionalized. This story is way too sad to repeat. All I will say is that Southside Hospital abused him so bad it was criminal. They are to blame for so many of his present problems.

We finally insist that he is let out. We go to a meeting of all his doctors and therapists. They dont reccommend we bring him home. They dont feel that he is ready. We just need to get him out of there. He is regressing, not getting better.

When we left Reno he was almost walking on his own. When we got to Southside they put him in a wheel chair. He was using the bathroom on his own in Reno, in Southside he was watched by a woman who was abusive who stood in the bathroom with him and humiliated him.

He became paranoid and angry. We needed to take him home.

My parents moved in with them. Merry had to go back to work. My parents did his therapy with him every day. They took him for outpatient therapy and to every doctor appointment. They were overwhelmed I think with the level of care he needed. He needed to be watched around the clock. He would try to get up during the night and my sister needed to sleep being 8 months pregnant. My parents cooked and cleaned and cared for him. They were as patient as they could be.

We just didnt understand the injury. He started looking better although he lost sight in his eye and needed to wear special glasses. He lost the hearing in his left ear and got a hearing aid which he hated to wear. He became anorexic, thanks Southside, and wouldnt eat anything except for cookies and ice cream.

He was like a little boy who needed constant care. He was so lost and so sad. I would do anything to help him.

Side note,,, when hubby had cancer it was tizzy who would come over my mothers and walk daughter 3 around and try to feed her. She was 7 weeks old and nursing and didnt want to take a bottle. He would rock her and sing to her and cuddle with her and get her to eat. He would then play with daughter 1 and 2. Games, cartoons, anything they wanted to do,,, he did it. He was amazing.

I spent alot of time with Tizzy. Eventually I drove him to therapy and took him to the mall for lunch. We had deep, serious conversations about so many things. I love him and he always loved me.

Until one moment that changed it all.

I had surgery. A little over a year ago. Scary surgery. Surgery that killed my other brother in law not just 2 years before.

And my sister was no where to be found.

I guess she didnt need me anymore.