Lightning Never Strikes Twice

I believe that there is a reason for everything that happens.

I also believe that most likely we never get to know that reason.

We go through life, experiencing the good and the bad and never really know why we are given some burdens and not others. And why others seem to get a bigger piece of the pie or a better share.

I attended a lecture once, that a Rabbi gave about this. His explanation made sense at the time. He said we are all ancestors of Adam and Eve. Because of their disobeying GOD we are all punished in some way. The punishment is divided up and each of us based on our heritage gets a piece of it. Its your birthright really.

So... I have perpetual bad luck because.... I still dont really get it.


A number of years ago I had a falling out with my family. It started with a fight between my mother and I, that turned into a general family run lynching of me.
My sister and her husband refused to speak to my family as well.

Yeah, this was pre brain injury.

Time goes on, I make amends with my parents with new rules. We actually spent that holiday season all alone. Long story for another blog, but we really enjoyed the quiet that year.

Eventually I discover my sister is pregnant and I call her to congratulate her. Again, not really the story I want to tell here but we go to lunch, talk about nothing and end being friends again. If thats what you want to call it.

A few months go by and we hear that Tizzys little sister is sick. She used to babysit for my kids and is only a few years older than my daughter #1. We were at her high school graduation and we love her. She is adorable.

She goes to the doctor and they tell her they see a lump in her lower back. About 10 years before, she had a benign cyst removed from the same spot.And she had radiation. No one ever knew why. Now she is experiencing the same symptoms, pain in her back, numbness in her leg.

And she goes to Stony Brook University for medical care. They supposedly have a great cancer center.

Go to Sloan Kettering if you ever have cancer. I know many people who died thinking Stony Brook was good enough. That is my tip for the day.

They tell her its a rare form of soft tissue sarcoma. Hmmm wait... I think I have heard this before.

Hubbys cancer... synovial sarcoma... very rare. When he was diagnosed only 8 people had it in the same spot he did, in his hand. Tizzys sister, I will call her sunshine, has it in her spine.

And she is only 1 of 3 people who have it there.

The chances are like 1 in a million for his cancer. yea I know I couldnt win the lottery with those odds?

I decide to call them even though there has been some tension since my sister and Tizzy havent been speaking to us. I talk to Mrs Tizzy and she says no Sunshine is happy with her doctor at Stony Brook. I am like... No way... she has to go to Hubbys doctor.

Side note.. you know when people quit smoking and they become the most obnoxious anti smoking people in the world, rudely stopping strangers to tell them how bad smoking is??

Well thats us with cancer. We rudely barge in to personal family matters and insist people go to Sloan Kettering. We have been known to be so annoying people go just to shut us up. Mission accomplished.

I speak to sunshine directly. She is 21 years old, never thinks she is in any danger, and doesnt want to interfere with her plan to be a speech pathologist.

We tell her how great Dr. Boland is, how he is the leading cancer doctor in soft tissue sarcomas in the country. He has an adorable irish accent. Ok that doesnt help his medical treatment but it is so cute. We tell her just to go for a consultation.

Its in the city she says. Stony Brook is so close. She feels comfortable with her doctor.

Until he tells her there is nothing he can do. The cancer is wrapped around her spine and the only way to treat this cancer is to cut it out. Hence hubbys amputation of two fingers. Hence cant cut your spine out. Hence why I am saying hence so much.

Robert Urich died of this cancer because it was in his hip. He had surgery to remove the tumor and radiation, which doesnt work and chemo which doesnt work. And he died.

She reluctantly agrees to see Dr. Boland, hubbys doctor, but she goes.

And so begins the long journey of pain and suffering that sunshine is still going through today.

But the key is she is still here today. I think Stony Brook had her dead in less than a year. This was almost 5 years ago.

She has had so many surgeries I couldnt even count. Dr.Boland created a surgery that has been written about in medical journals and has saved Sunshines life. For now. With each year new medical advancements are made and we hope someday her suffering will be over and she will go on with her life. She deserves some happiness and joy. her name is sunshine right?

Hubby knows he had to have cancer in order for Sunshine to have any chance at survival. Without us meeting doctor lamaze, who sent us to crying doctor, who sent us to Dr. boland, No sunshine today.

Life is funny sometimes. We do sometimes get a peak into the purpose of our journey. sometimes it makes sense and our suffering seems to be needed to help another. It makes it easier to go through future bad times. There is a lesson to learn, perhaps one that will save someone else in the future.

So lightning did strike twice in the same family. But it didnt burn anyone it just lit our way into the future.