Growing... we do it everyday

We are on our way to Boston to bring Daughter #1 back to college. I do not have Internet so I am typing this in a word document instead of directly on the blog and I am weirdly opposed to that.I never trust the save feature.

The trip began at 4:45am when the alarm went off. Everyone popped up ready for our journey, which always proves to be eventful. It is only 7:21 and I am already rethinking the 16oz coffee I had before we even left Mt. Sinai at 5:45am.

There was some weird story about some guy in 7-11 buying our coffee although I suspect hubby made it up to top all my stories. It sounded shady, like a Daughter #4 story with little details and the few there were that didn’t make sense.

It is pouring. We have never made this trek to college drop off in the rain. We are driving way too fast for this weather. I am the worst backseat driver there is and I try desperately not to be as annoying as possible but when my fear for my life outweighs my fear that hubby will leave me if I get too irritating I freak out a little.

I am almost at that point now.

So I figured I would blog to distract myself from the fact that any minute we will plummet over the side of the bridge into the cold abyss.

I make my kids open all the windows when we go over bridges because I am afraid when we do go over I will be unable to get them out if the windows are closed. We have power windows for god’s sake. In the olden days all you would have to do is roll them down but do you really think electric windows will work under water? No, they wont.

We have been giggling and chatting for the whole trip so far but now everyone has put their I pods on and closed their eyes. We should be there in about 3 hours depending on how much of this coffee is absorbed into my body and how much needs to get out. Right now it is not looking good for 3 hours but we will see.

Daughter #1 is moving into an apartment this year, her senior year in college and she is excited about the prospect of being able to eat her own food instead of the dining hall garbage she has survived on for the last 3 years. She has become an amazing cook, with my guidance of course. And my garlic and red pepper.

Believe it or not it is now 9:04pm and we are home. I couldnt continue to blog in the car because I have horrible carsickness that interferes when I want to do anything in the car or on a boat or wherever there is movement.

So the trip is over and here is what I have observed on my journey. I did finally have to stop to pee which makes my hubby way better than my father who just made us hold it in until the next time he needed gas. Thank god for a 12 gallon tank although it was a diesel that lasted way too long when your bladder was about to explode. We stopped at a rest area near the base of a mountain. I hate public restrooms, like I almost would have rather peed outside, but this was kinda pretty. But at 8am this morning they were kinda clean. Not so much when we just stopped there around 6pm.

Did you ever notice people when they enter a public restroom? Women anyway... they kind of sneak up on the stall and gently open the door in case there is something gross and terrible lurking in the toilet. Hopefully you can turn away quick enough so that it doesnt leave a permanent scar. I actually almost threw up in the rest area on the way home. It smelled like a combination of dirty kitty litter, body odor, ass and some other smell that I couldnt quite place but made me gag so bad I used my hand that still smelled like the cheesecake factory to shield me.

Back to my original story.. our trip to BU. We made it there in 4 hours which is always great and early enough to miss all the crazy Red Sox fans. Go Mets!!

We unloaded Daughter 1's stuff into her new dorm, which is like a luxury hotel. For real, there is a lobby that makes any hotel I have ever been in look like a dump. There is a little coffee cafe in the building, which I pointed out is wasted on her as she is just a tea drinker. But it is adorable and has outdoor seating overlooking Boston. She points out that that will be fine for a week until the temperature drops to below 0 and going outside will only be to get to class and not soak up the icy air and enjoying a sugar free decaf vanilla latte. ok thats me, not her, she will just have green tea.

Her new apartment is gorgeous with huge windows again overlooking Boston. It is an improvement from her past dorms which were fine but in no way this beautiful. She deserves it. Its been a process from Warren to Stuvie. And it seems great. We all assume our roles, me cleaning everything with toxic chemicals, daughter #3 organizing all the clothes, hubby carrying heavy stuff, moving furniture,hooking up wires that only men are capable of doing and daughter #4, either putting something together or breaking something apart. We move in a pack, in a room less than 10 feet wide by 10 feet long. Her new roomates seem nice and it is just so hard to believe this is her last year.

This is our last trip to drop her off at college and our last trip to Boston on move in weekend.

We were in the closest, or should I say the safest Target in the area and it was the same story with every family. "Do you need cereal?" "No mom, I dont even eat cereal" "You should get an extra roll of paper towels" "No Mom, they come with the place"

And on and on it went, mom and dads, offering their unwanted advice, remembering either their college days or in our case our first apartment after we got married. Trying to keep a smile on their face knowing in a few hours they will be leaving their child behind.

It hurts every time. I didnt think it would this year. Daughter #2 stayed in DC over the summer and Daughter #1 spent part of the summer away. I thought this time, that I had gotten used to it, the quiet, the feeling of what a small family is.

But no. I still felt the tears burning my eyes as we said our goodbyes. The only thing that makes it ok is that I know this year will be the best year ever. And I know how excited she is to be there. On her own again. Away from us and our crazy, noisy life. But I always miss her.

We will get used to being a family of four, sitting in the small booth at the outback or the Cheesecake factory. No one arguing about who is sitting in the middle when we go anywhere all together in the car.

It was a hard process getting used to them both being gone two years ago and then when I found out that they werent coming home this summer.

I would go back and do it all over in a second. I am glad that at 40 years old I am not starting new but I would go back and do it all over again, almost the exact same way as before. I love our family and I love my kids. I love when we are all together and when we are just us, silly and laughing about anything and everything. I had hoped to get to DC with all of us so we could have some time as "our family" but that wont happen again I guess until Thanksgiving.

Things change and it is our job as parents to notice it and adjust to it. Life is not a broken record, replaying the same groove over and over. Our children get bigger and stronger and more independent and we need to notice it and acknowledge it so we dont stunt their constant growth.

Its not just children who need to grow but as adults we also need to grow. We need to appreciate our kids for their journeys but also appreciate that our life has now changed as well. And it may not be what we thought it would be. But we cant stunt them by insisting that it stay the same.

I really enjoyed our summer together, daughter #1 and I, which may be the last one. We cooked, we talked politics, we remodeled... it was a summer of bonding as adults.

I notice that they all are growing. Whether they live in my house or live away from me, I will always miss them when they are gone and I will always rejoice when they are home, all together, laughing about our private jokes, playing scrabble or pop 5. I miss my girls but I am so proud and so happy that their lives are good and they are growing into the most amazing people you would ever want to know.

Sometimes you get growing pains, but you always wake up a little taller than the day before. I feel taller already.