It's a Girl June 1993

I always wanted lots of kids. Really lots of girls. I think this came from the fact that I always really felt like an only child. I always envied the families with lots of kids running around, having fun. And when I married hubby and he had 3 brothers and a sister and he loved being a part of a big family, we decided yeah thats for us.

Daughter 1 and Daughter 2 are 16 months apart. And I was 19 and 20 when they were born. We lived in Florida, things were good but we wanted to move back home.

So we packed up everything we owned in a u-haul, drugged our 1 year old dog and set off on a 26 hour car ride with a 1 and 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. Not the story for this blog though.

After returning to NY, it took us awhile to save up money for a house and realize that although we would probably never be able to afford a third child we were going to have one anyway.

When I wanted to get pregnant with Daughter 1 and 2, I just thought hmmm I'd like to get pregnant and the next month I was. Just like that. The immaculate conceptions, both of them. Or close to it.

With Daughter 3, I wanted to get pregnant and one month went by and then two, still not pregnant. I was desperate to have another baby. I realize people try for years and still have no luck but I never had that experience so for me 2 months was 2 long.

I will skip all the details but I set out a mission and by the third month September, I was pregnant.

Hubby came home from work and I was like "Hubby come up here I have to tell you something". And upstairs in our room I had two wine glassed filled with milk and a small box. He didnt get it at first. He opened the box and the pregnancy test was in there.(Yes I do realize that I gave him a box of pee but I needed for him to get the full effect)And he was so excited and we called in D1 and D2 and told them. D2 was jumping up and down screaming yeah I am gonna be a big sister. She had been waiting her whole life for that role. D1 was like yeah I've seen this before.

I think it took about 20 minutes for the morning sickness to kick in.

I thought that I was sick with D1. That was nothing compared to how sick I was with
D3. If I tell you that I threw up everything I ate that would not even describe how sick I was. My friends told me I actually looked green. All the time. I got used to going out to bagels with my friends, excusing myself and throwing it all up in the dirty bagel bathroom.

There was a story about shopping at TJ Maxx and an everything bagel and a chocolate milk and lets just say, I have never eaten an everything bagel again. Never in 15 years. I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

So I have two kids ages 5 1/2 and 4 and they go to Kindergarten and Preschool and I literally cannot even get off the couch without throwing up. You know what the doctor says... Try crackers in the morning, try lemonade, try eating small meals, try standing on your head spinning around real fast and do the hula. I mean really, nothing worked.

For 9 months, my kids made themselves peanut butter and jelly everyday, at 5 and 4. They dressed themselves and basically took care of everything. They learned to tie their shoes by tying mine, because once again I gained 50 lbs and couldnt reach my feet.

Sure, Sure you are so sick, sure you are not keeping any food down. I can tell by the enormous weight gain. Years later by the way I found out that the gestational diabetes I had with D1 and D3 are most likely what caused the extreme nausea and vomiting. I diagnosed that myself by reading WebMd. I dont think the Hawaiian Punch and Lemonade I was drinking by the gallon was really helpful for that. Thanks Doc.

Now with D1 I gave birth on my due date. D2 was 6 days late. I figured with D3, which by the way I did not know was a girl until she was born, I would be right around my due date, because I was fairly certain of the day I got pregnant.

Wrong. She is due May 28th. I am enormous and it is hot and I just stopped throwing up every second a few weeks before. I wanted the baby. Over. Done. Now.

My doctors were so conservative. Oh you are healthy the baby is healthy lets see where this goes.

Every day when you are late people call you and say "anything?". Oh yeah I had the baby I just wanted to keep it a secret. No Nothing!!! Maybe I was a little cranky being 175 lbs, sweating, which I am opposed to, and waiting and waiting for D3.

On June 4th, I could not take it. I was going for a stress test for me and the baby, praying for just a little high blood pressure so they would induce me. No you and the baby are fine, lets make an appointment for next week. Holy crap I am gonna take this into my own hands.

Castor oil, chinese food, bumpy car rides, beet soup... these are some of the go into labor old wives tales. Well I did every one except the beet soup. It was too gross. Hubby had a mustang convertible so he and I and D1 and D2 head out on the open road. We go over every bumpy street on Long Island and when we end up near the ferry, we take it. To connecticut. Now I realize that this was really stupid, if I had gone into labor it was a four hour trip but hey I had already gone into Madison Square Garden the week before by train to see the Knicks in the semifinals, I wasnt scared. Maybe just a little.

That was a friday. All weekend nothing. Just me sitting around eating and watching my stomach get fatter. Until Sunday.

Sunday I wake up and I feel like I had the flu. I was achy and nauseous and did not feel well at all. It was my best friends birthday and her husband had made this delicious strawberry shortcake but I couldnt even go I was so sick. Apparently, that was the beginning of labor. Each kid was so different I had no idea. It had to be something I mean I gave up strawberry shortcake.

Hubby was bartending at the time and had worked the whole weekend. Sunday was his night to sleep. So we go to bed around 10 or 11 and I wake up at 2am with labor pains. I get up walk around, take a shower, its 2:30, they are getting bad, I wake hubby up.

Go back to sleep for a little while he says in his stupor. I am like No I already did that this is real. We have to go to the hospital. It took me a little while to convince him but he finally got up.

My mother was going to come over and watch the kids, so we try to call her. No answer. What? I am overdue and she is on call to watch the kids, it is 2:45am and she isnt answering. We call over and over. This was before the day of cell phones. There was no way to get in touch with her. So we drive over. We unlock the door and of course my dad wakes up, he sleeps with one ear open at all times. "we called and your phone isnt working"

Ok ok here let us take the kids ,my mother and father are saying. Oh wait... Merry, my sister had just gotten home from college and all her stuff is all over the beds the girls were supposed to sleep in. I have to ask them because I am not sure where they slept.

Apparently her stuff was piled in my old room and it pulled the telephone wire out of the wall and disconnected the phones. I wonder if she did that on purpose knowing I would go into labor soon. (ok i know i am just being ridiculous but i just wanted to put it out there)

We leave the kids there, head off to Stony Brook and they tell me I am not ready. Go home they say, labor at home and come back when you are ready. I am I am, I want drugs now. No they say you have a long way to go.

So we go home. The sad crappy feeling like holy crap I may be pregnant forever. And then my labor stops. Completely.

I spend the day sitting on the couch drinking tea and eating soup and waiting for more labor pains. Nothing. None. 12 hours goes by. I doze off here and there but I am so fat and uncomfortable that I just sit in the chair, watching soap operas and game shows. For hours. Waiting.

We finally decide to go back and get the kids. And as soon as we get in the car. Its back. Labor pains. We get to my mothers and the pain is really strong. I call the doctor and then I make the biggest mistake of my life.

I eat macaroni and cheese. Homeade with sour cream and onions and cream and cheese. I have heartburn now just thinking about it. I cannot describe how gross it is to eat that and then go into labor. Tip for the day... dont eat that when you are about to give birth.

We go back to the hospital and because Stony Brook is a teaching hospital they have student nurses, doctors, everyone there is trying to learn something. A student nurse is trying to put an IV in. I tell her I have really close valves. It is not easy to get an IV in. She keeps trying. First in the back of one hand, then the other. Then on the inside of one wrist, then the other. Then in the fold of my elbow on one side and then the other. Finally I say, thats it, I dont want an IV.

Well then you cant have drugs.

Fine, squeezing an 8 lb baby through a tiny hole has got to be less painful than having you stick me with that giant needle another 8 times.

My doctor arrives and she is standing there in her coat and clogs and she is like hey lets break your water, it will speed this up. Great for me. I love speedy. Especially now I have committed to no drugs.

She takes out a crochet hook, ok probably some medical tool that looks like a crochet hook and breaks my water.

I have been known to exaggerate but you can ask hubby this anytime... there was so much water that came out each time I had a contraction, there was a huge puddle on the floor. It was going over the edges of the bed like Niagra falls everytime I felt a pain, whoosh, water everywhere. No exaggerating. When the nurse finally came in she was like oh my god what happened and I was like that is just from my water breaking. And she is like hmmm that doesnt seem normal. But she was a student and I was having a totally different labor than my other two when my water didnt break until they were about to be born, so what did I know.

Now at this point, technically I had gone into labor around 2am and this was 10:30pm so it had been around 20 hours so far on and off. That seemed long to me because D2 was only 8 hours and I expected it to get shorter each time. I guess though to D3, she wasnt even ready until about 11pm.

From a medical standpoint, while my body was in labor, D3 was just hanging out. Knowing her personality now I would say she was singing in her bubble when someone popped it and she kept singing for a few hours until she was like Wait, should I be born now? No one told me. And like a bat out of hell she came from way up in the clouds to the beautiful world outside.

She was born so fast she had a ruptured eyeball which really just means that there was a pool of blood in the white part of her eye. I on the other hand had been pushing so hard that I broke every blood vessel in my face. It looked like I had been in the ring with Muhammed Ali but no one told me until I finally got up and looked in the mirror and didnt recognize myself.

With no drugs I felt great after the delivery. A little dizzy and tired but for the most part pretty good.

The student nurse came in to check my blood pressure. I had an automatic cuff. So she looks at the reading and goes OH MY GOD and runs out. Suddenly doctors and nurses from everywhere come running in...How do you feel, are you dizzy , are you going to pass out? Actually I feel pretty good. Well your blood pressure is 70 over 30. I guess thats bad.

They made me stay in the recovery room and drink fluids for a while and they finally brought me up to my room around 1am. D3 was born at 11:04pm. I guess I was dehydrated from not having an IV and losing about half of my body weight in fluid.

D3 was born so quickly, as far as they were concerned, not me, but anyway she did not have a conehead or a blue tint like D1 and D2. She was pink and perfect except for that bloody eye. She slept 5 hours at a time from the day she was born.

I think she was preparing us for what lay ahead, because just 3 days later is when hubby began the journey that started with a doctors appt with our doctor we went to lamaze with and ended with having 2 fingers amputated.

D3 accompanied us to every doctor visit because I was nursing and wouldnt leave her alone. She brought more happiness to those people suffering from Cancer than I am sure we will ever know. At 6 weeks old I would hold her up and she would giggle and smile at all the people there. They were able to forget for maybe a few seconds where they were and what lay ahead for them. She was like a shining star and I know we wouldnt have made it through without her.

We had 3 daughters now and that was Hubbys motivation to get better. How could you look into the face of a newborn and not think "Wow I made this, maybe I can conquer the world"?

Or just conquer cancer. But that was all we needed.