Weird random thoughts

I was in 7-11 this morning getting coffee in Syosset, which if you arent familiar with Long Island, is a well to do commnunity, and it was like a twilight zone episode. There were two men at the counter, one was paying for a pack of cigarettes and a lottery ticket with dimes, nickels and pennies. The other guy was arguing heatedly with the guy behind the counter that he had given him a 5 instead of 3 singles. It was bizarre really. One guy counting out change the other guy arguing.

It freaked me out a little after watching One Tree Hill last night.

Why did they have to kill Q? Really, in a gas station robbery shooting?

It did get me thinking though of how many times there are weird things going on inside gas stations and convenience stores and how little we are aware of our own existence.

I know you are thinking why do I have to make every random thought into something outlandish and "deep". This is why I am up nights. My brain just doesnt shut off. I kept thinking about time and relationships and how long we have here on Earth.

I am 40 which means that if I live as long as I have already lived my life is half over. And what have I done? And who have I been? And do these things really matter?

My biggest problem is that I dont think people think like I do. I think I am back to being alone in the blue group(read previous blogs for this reference) and I am struggling with how to effectively accomplish my plan while dealing with complete idiots on a daily basis.

I spend most of my nights thinking about the past and the future and why some of the things I have experienced in my life made me who I am today. I focus on my lost relationships and try to replay them to see if I could have changed anything. I never like losing a friend.

I wonder why people cant see everything my way especially when I have a good argument. I want the people who hurt me in my life to know and feel some sort of regret for what they did.

But most dont which makes me stay up nights plotting my revenge.

I want their to be more people like me.

I am continually baffled by behavior that seems to completely go against the ten commandments because although they are religious, they really make sense. What if everyone was just nice to each other? What if even though I think you may be the biggest idiot I have ever met I respect your right to do it?

Yeah but then these people reproduce and infect all the hard work I have put into raising my kids to be different.

This is a completely irrational blog. I know. But I have to pee, my computer is going dead and I am so hungry. Thats my excuse and I am sticking to it.