So much time... so little to do

So much time... so little to do... check that, reverse it. Anyone ? Anyone? Bueller? No Willy Wonka. That line made no sense to me when I was a kid but now... I get it.

I am the mother of four amazing daughters. I loved being a stay at home mom over the years. I never had a desire to BE anything else. My life was so fulfilled with my family and friends. At some point I felt our need for money overrode my "wanting" to stay home so I went back to work, part time, doing all kinds of things and then it was more than part time and so it goes... life as a stay at home mom was over.

I have very strong parenting ideas. And I tend to be very judgemental about my parenting and other peoples parenting. I am not a confrontational person and it has been very hard for me always to speak up about things that are important to me. But my belief in good parenting has changed my relationship with quite a few people some even in my own family.

My family is so unique and I am sure you are thinking yeah so is everyones. But the more I get to know different people and their family dynamic the more I realize how special we are.

I got married when I was 18. We eloped actually. My husband and I started dating in the Summer of 84. He had just graduated high school and I was going into my senior year. I knew he had already joined the Navy and would be leaving in March but I had known him for so long and we had been friends and I just knew I wanted to be with him forever.

We had a great summer... And this is how it all started. We were at a graduation party and I was dating one of hubbys friends. Nothing serious just a few dates. So we are at the party and I guess mutually we realize that its not working out (the friend and I ). Hubby and I start talking and we sit in his car to smoke a cigarette. Honestly none of our friends smoked so were kind of sneaking I guess. We talked and talked, it was just us being friends.

So whatever my friends are there and we are just hanging out and everyone decides to go to this bar in Coram. Anyone remember City Scenes in the Pathmark Shopping Center? Great Kamikazes No ID needed.

So everyone piles in all the cars and we head over and we are drinking pitchers of Kamikazes and let me say that I completely do not condone underage drinking and I think what we were doing here was SO BAD but times were different, we seemed older, the drinking age was only 18 blah blah blah I am grateful everyday that I made it out of that part of my life alive.

Well its time to leave and I ask hubby for a ride home. We go to leave and suddenly hubbys friend is mad, he says something rude and uncalled for and we leave. Whatever.

Hubby drives me to my house and we talk and laugh and it is so easy and good. So I say goodbye but there is a part of me that knows something magical just happened. I am only 16 and way to ignorant of the ways of the world to know what it is but read on.

So the next day I wake up and my family is sitting around the breakfast table for hours, like is typical in my house, then and now. We eat, then we read the paper, we talk, we debate the news stories, we compare the sales, then maybe we eat again. Its the Jewish Italian thing. Both eaters, both talkers I think it is genetic so I go with it.

So I say to my mother "I wish Hubby would come over and take me out" and she is like " Why would he do that" Mind you I have known him for years, he has dated my friend, he has met my parents, and he has never randomly shown up to take me out before. And I am like " I dont know, he drove me home last night and something changed"

So its Sunday and we are in our pjs, eating bagels, listening to loud 50's music, dancing around maybe and there is a knock on the door. PS in those days it wasnt strange for there to be a knock on the door, we didnt have cell phones, instant messaging, text messaging, we just showed up at peoples houses and said hey can you come out?

So its Hubby and I am like Hi Come in and he is like " Do you want to have lunch?" And I am like sure let me get dressed, so I leave him with my parents and I could. That is point #1 in husband material, people. I could leave him talking to my parents and he could carry on an intelligent conversation and they liked him and I felt fine taking 20 minutes to get ready.

So we leave in his Moms Delta 88 and we go to Campus Heroes and it is so comfortable and easy and I order a meatball hero. A meatball hero. Who would order that on a first date? It was a mess, so delicious though and I get a coke that explodes through the straw. But we talk and have a great time and that is how it all began. And that is point #2. Sauce on my face, soda all over, it was still good.

Skip forward 2o years later, our anniversary. We wanted to go to Hawaii but long story about that another time. We have no money and we are big into celebrating, mostly because of the Cancer and we never know how much time we will have. So we meet after work at Ruby Tuesdays and hubby is like I have a surprise for you. So we hang out a little, do some christmas shopping and we leave for my surprise.

Guess what it was? He had gone to Campus Heroes, and had them set it up after they closed for us. My wonderful daughters brought our wedding candle, and cards and flowers and we sat at the same table as we did on our first date and we ate. ( I didnt get a meatball hero, mostly because it is so fattening and 20 years later I do not weigh 117 lbs) It was beyond magical and seriously 20 years later I looked into his eyes and I know that I still love him as much now as I did then. I know the magic lives on. Point #3 in choosing a husband, dont settle for less than this kind of love. It's out there you just need to find it. Someday someone will be a part of you that you dont know how you lived without.