Nancy's Rules of the World...just like I promised

yeah yeah yeah I have about 2 hours before I need to bring D#3 to violin and I was going to start my homework but I wouldnt really have enough time and I promised I would write down my rules, people might be home on the edge of their seat waiting, and today sucked because we ran out of oil last night (D#1 and D#2 at least you safely left the island before we ran out of hot water)and so I couldnt shower this morning and I just ate a ridiculous amount of tostitos and cheese dip and stacy chips and spinach dip for no reason when I am supposed to be dieting and I told D#3 and D#4 that they couldnt use my lap top because I had homework...take a breath...blah blah blah... I am blogging!

Here are my simple rules for the World (not the Universe because things apparently are just getting more random there)

1. Based on my prior blog, we have determined that science and religion are not so far apart and you shouldnt believe in either one.

"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

Heres why...atoms, molecules,cells, cant see 'em, cant be real. God,Jesus,heaven,hell cant see 'em, cant be real. Scientists believe they are real because they cant prove differently, Priests molest little boys. Ok...simple rule...if you have to see it to believe it you are now called a Nancyist.

2. We should wear crowns all the time. Because that is what princesses do. I am not a feminist and I tend to be a tad bit old fashioned especially when it comes to relationships and the roles of men and women, who pays for the date and such. I have a prince. I dont let him wear a crown, Just me. He opens doors for me, lays his coat over big puddles so I dont get my imitation uggs wet and he scares off big dragons in the night. I know this is not "in" but really what are we fighting for ladies. We can have the great equal opportunities of men without giving up the pleasure of being treated like a princess, dragon slaying and all.

3. We should let people love and marry who they want. Love is universal. Animals, plants, (maybe not plants but I once saw a spider plant cry)...but we love, we feel, we dream of what our lives will be like and we want to share that with someone special. It is hard to find your true love in this big crazy world. Half of all marriages end in divorce. You fall in love with a person who is special to you, who treats you well, who makes you a better you. Male, female, it doesnt really matter.

4. We should all be in charge of our own bodies. Men do not have to carry babies and have never carried babies and should never be allowed to even comment on anything to do with babies unless they are going to be a daddy and want to mention a name they might like. Of course that doesnt mean anything but we can pretend that they can have a small part. Medically, emotionally, any reason I decide I cannot carry a baby to full term, so be it. It is my choice because until that baby can live on its own it may as well be classified as a virus. See I learned in Microbiology that viruses can only live attached to a host. I might not be such a slacker after all. But seriously folks, once they start forbidding this stuff, they will forbid birth control, getting your tubes tied, vasectomies, and anything else assosciated with preventing pregnancy.

5.People who make more money should pay more taxes. Let me explain why. Lets say you make 100,000 dollars a year. And you pay 30% in taxes so you bring home 70,000 dollars. In New York that is not enough to live on. You can barely pay your mortgage and you certaintly cant pay for oil and gas. So you struggle. Lets say you make 500,000 dollars a year and you pay 30% in taxes. You bring home 350,000 dollars per year. You can pay to live in a pretty nice place and you can eat and pay for your car and not run out of oil. Lets say you pay 50,000 dollars more. you still pay your mortgage, you still eat, you still do all the things you did before, maybe you skip one vacation a year. If the taxes get raised on the middle class, they cant send their kids to college without taking out huge loans(sorry girls). when you make 300,000 dollars a year you can. You see my point? of course you do.

6.The law should just make sense to everyone. You should not need a lawyer to sue someone who stole your store. You sell your store, you sign a contract, you shake hands, you agree that you are giving fat bastard the store and he is giving you the money for it. At some point he decides he doesnt want to pay. So you hire a lawyer and he never does and the judge says ok bring one next time. 1000 dollars to my lawyer. Return again, he has no lawyer, Mr. Fat Bastard you were told to bring a lawyer, why should I? Explanation by the judge again and another postponement. On and on for 3000 dollars worth of law bills. Now 15000 dollars later, still in court, he is fighting me with no reason and even if I do win my lawyer says I may never get the money. Why? Why does the law protect the criminals? Recently a close friend of my sister in laws, lost her husband when he was working a second job at a bar. A very drunk, drugged man was standing, dancing on a table and this guy, as the bouncer told him to get down. The guy on the table jumped off the table and in front of many witnessed strangled the bouncer to death. Even after he was unconscious the drunk still held on and he was brain dead in less than 4 minutes. There is a trial. The golf course where the killer worked is paying over 600,000 dollars for his defense. She has to go to court and listen to people say bad things about her husband that are untrue and possibly watch her husbands killer go free. I know that if i was ever in a situation where someone hurt my child, i would go all Samuel jackson, A time to kill on them. Hide in the closet of the court house with my shot gun and kaboom one shot to the head. In any case, the law should be simple and make sense. Do you know we had to go to court to make a date, to make another date for the trial? No kidding. Its a law raping thats it.

7. Kid Rock should be worshipped by all.

8. Candy corn should not just be for halloween and they should absolutely not take away mallomars for the summer. They leave out candy bars dont they and other chocolately goodness, why the mallomars, why oh why do they have to go? Candy should have no calories and spinach should make you fat.

9.People should raise their children like I have raised mine. This is a little too much information to have to go into right now but basically, kids should have responsibilities so they dont dye their husbands navy uniforms pink when they wash them with red socks. They should know that cinnamon does not go on steak and that when the check engine light goes on it is not just a suggestion. They should know how to be responsible for money and not think "how could I not have any money left, I still have checks" They should want knowledge not grades. I totally believe that it is what you learn that makes school important not what you got wrong because who cares who invented the first immunizations. You should value your kids opinion, unless they want to vote for Sarah palin, then you need to lock them up in a room until the election is over. There is no rule that says kids have to hate you, it just works out that way sometimes. If you cant follow these rules about children go bring them to Nebraska, they will be better off without you.

10.Dont lie, cheat or steal. I know it would be too naive to think that things were better in the past, I am sure there was lying and cheating and stealing but when did it become just about us and not about our village. I do not like Hillary but she did have a point, It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to recognize that we arent on this earth to get what we can for ourselves. We are here to learn and share and grow. Why cant we just be honest with ourselves and others? It would make the world less scary. Ok, I dont understand your religion or your culture Osama Bin Laden but I respect your right to believe it until the time you killed people in the name of your god. Respect my right to be a Nancy and I will respect your right until you piss me off and hurt mine, then I will elect a president who is gonna get you and stop you. Lets just spend a little more time getting to know about others and what they believe and not just decide that you are a drunk because you are Irish, or in the mob because you are italian or cheap because you are a jew. Learn from everyone. every person has something to share, even the ignorant. You know what I say... sometimes all its worth is the story you can tell about it later but sometimes that is enough.

Please feel free to add your rules for the world below. I would add more but really I cant blog all day now can I?

Peace to you and yours, Always.